The aftermath of England’s devastating and deplorable loss to Iceland is no time for quiet reflection and understated contemplation. A ruinous result like this one deserves the height of hyperbolic reaction found only in England’s titillating tabloids and brilliant broadsheets.
The Sun’s back page plays on the Iceland supermarket chain’s one-time slogan “Mum’s gone to Iceland,” accompanied by a picture of Wayne Rooney’s sobbing son Kai.
The Daily Star appeals to a fishier power:
The Daily Mail speaks for many who were uninspired by the Roy Hodgson hire in the first place:
The Daily Mirror went the easy route:
The Daily Express captures what Hodgson’s strategy was in one word:
The Independent runs with a sober picture of a solo Hodgson while referencing England’s infamous 1-0 defeat to the United States in 1950:
The Telegraph respects photography’s “rule of thirds” with this perfectly-framed pic:
Iceland’s papers were jubilant yet displayed Scandinavian reserve with their choice of words.
The Morgunbladid’s front page reads “The Adventure Continues”
The Fréttabladid (which translates literally as “Newspaper”) speaks for a nation enjoying an unprecedented thrill ride by asking “Where will it end?”
Iceland’s Danish cousins joined in the fun as BT says “Iceland have done the impossible, now England is also out of the Euros!”
England’s ancient enemies across the Channel also delighted in the upset. L’Equipe blared “Awesome” on its cover as it hailed “magnificent” Iceland.
But in a shocking upset worthy of the game itself, the best cover comes from an American paper, the beleaguered-but-still-battling New York Daily News.
And if their headline is a little too lowbrow for you perhaps you’ll prefer their Eugene O’Neill-referencing recap title:
