Premier League Odds and Sods 21 Jan 2008

Newcastle buzzed with electricity.  The entire town pitched in, stealing Burger King hats and spray painting them black and white.  The Geordie Messiah took the pitch to a rockstar’s welcome.  Mike Ashley ordered a whopper, but he didn’t have it his way as Newcastle drew Bolton 0-0 at St. James park.  Bolton looked toothless and the Barcodes looked tactless.  Keegan’s presence seemed to engender their massive FA Cup victory over Stoke.  Newcastle will have to hope the man can be as inspiring as the idea.

Reading lost 2-0 to Manchester United.  Coppell’s men held the line for as long as possible, but Rooney and Ronaldo nearly always devastate at the end.  Tabloid Wayne had a nice goal, and young Cristiano through one in at the end as well, which caused Sir Alex to forego his normal goal celebration to “salute” what appeared to be some fans.  The only thing more perfect than Ronaldo’s play this season has been his hair, which miraculously holds in whatever absurd shape he manipulates it to without moving.

Birmingham lost a close one to Chelsea 1-0.  Chelsea were vibrant in their fetching and fashionable highlighter yellow kits.  Their play? Not so much…  “Captain” Michael Ballack led Chelsea onto the field, and the team followed his lead as far as effort was concerned.  Pizarro salvaged this one for Chelsea from a set-piece.  Chelsea, astoundingly, have been playing a brand of football even more boring than under Mourinho, at least with him as manager he could provide some entertainment.

Arsenal dismantled Fulham 3-0 at Craven Cottage.  The English would say that Fulham were pants.  Americans would say that Fulham got pantsed.  Arsenal didn’t play particularly brilliantly, but still cruised to victory.  The 3-0 score could and should have been far greater.  Adebayor can make a case for striker of the season in the Premier League.  The midfield looked reinvigorated with the presence of Rosicky.  He gets wide, covers ground, has great chemistry with Clichy, and is just an overall nuisance for the opposition.