Open Letter to Arsène Wenger

Dear Monsieur Wenger,

I wanted to take the time to congratulate you on your team’s recent successes in the Premier League and more specifically the UEFA Champions League. You’ve fought back and are in the heat of a title race and reaching the last eight in any competition is deserved of accolades, but the most prestigious Cup competition in the World, that’s something to be proud of.

The way your team played with such utter confidence against Porto at home Tuesday night was something to behold (and look at the turn around in form of one Nicklas Bendtner from his lowly weekend efforts, simply stunning). The confidence your club displayed directly influenced the teams ability to move the ball at will, maintain possession and attack with purpose, not to mention, it was a night supporters of Arsenal won’t soon forget.

5-0 was the end result to a night that saw your team dominate a Porto team who only a few weeks ago were victorious over you. It’s safe to say there was definitely everything to play for Tuesday night and you proved to the world and your detractors that this Arsenal team has something positive to say in this year’s Champions League and Premier League races. For that, I salute you! Well done.

May I take one more brief moment of your valuable time?

I raised a brow in disbelief this very morning when I read that you’re hoping to be pitted against one Manchester United in the next round of this fine Cup competition we’ve been discussing. At first, I chuckled as I assumed your joy at an important win had tainted your mind to a more jovial state. As I continued to read further, aghast, I realized you were in fact serious and even mentioned London foes Chelsea as another possible opponent for your Beautiful Passing Gnomes (a term of affection, I assure you) in the next round of this competition.

Must I remind you Mr. Wenger that you’ve in fact fallen, slain like a lion in battle, in all four Premier League games this season (quite emphatically if I may add) against these very clubs with which you so openly aspire to meet again on the field of battle? This “good opportunity” to meet an English team you so casually throw around could ultimately be your demise. I must take a cautionary moment to speak a wise word of warning: Take heed of the Rooney’s and Drogba’s of the world. They are scary men when provoked. Fear them.

And how soon you forget only last May the 5th this Manchester United team had you sized up, whipped and beaten like a stray dog all neat and tidy like within eleven minutes of that woeful home semi-final encounter. If I close my eyes for a second, I can still see those pretty little red and white scarves wrapped ’round the neck of those hopeful supports. Their spirits so high and vibrant but crushed so soon and violent. The exposition of dominate force, counter-attacking football and all around arse kicking began courtesy of a Cristiano Ronaldo laserbeam and henceforth secured your opponents second final in a row at your expense. Had you forgotten this eminent engagement?

And if I may just quote your words from this very morning,

“It’s a good opportunity if we get them to show we can do well. If I had a choice I would say yes. If we get them we cannot do worse than we did in the championship, we can only do better”.

Pray tell how?

Shall we keep in thought that one night of brilliance a title contender, world beater or Champions League winner does not make. Also, both clubs you rush to defy to prove how great you’ve become in the last few months have yet to progress through to the next stage. Would not a day or two of celebration with the lads prove more beneficial than the metaphorical waving of your French finger towards all of Europe? Take heed again, there are some large European dogs across the continent that have just caught your scent. They may not bite your hand if you pat them on the head, but be assured, they’ll bite your hand if you smack them in the face.

Lastly, please give a right proper tap to the back of Samir Nasri for me. His goal Tuesday night was a thing of beauty. You do realize now, I don’t dislike you, your team, or your current crop of players one single bit. You are in fact quite good. I just wish to stress the importance of holding your tongue, and most importantly of all Arsene, don’t get ahead of yourself. It’ll only make you look foolish in the end. Good day.

Sincerely yours,