Christmas Eve Odds and Sods

Robbie Keane bitches

He whines he wanks he whinges

Bottles when it counts

Arsenal squeaked out a 2-1 win over Tottenham in the North London Derby. They were not very convincing, but, unlike last season, it was an unconvincing win.

The match began rather creepily with a friendly handshake between Ramos and Wenger. Gunners fans will miss the murderous glares and terse interactions between Arsene and Fat Tony.

Adebayor scored a brilliant goal from Fabregas’ back-heel. Bendtner had a brilliant one as well. The Gunners are developing what Tottenham thought they were paying big money for, a dynamic and versatile strike-force. The scariest part is that they are only going to get better, with the elder-statesman, Robin Van Persie, a mere twenty-four years old.

The penalty on Toure was a bit harsh. He did appear to have hit the ball before Berbatov’s leg. Berbatov was teetering around like a drunken college girl after a few too many glasses of jungle juice, waiting to go down. Imagine how good Berbatov would be if he could actually move.

“Keane does not miss.”

Manchester United also achieved a rather tenuous victory 2-1 over Everton. Ronaldo’s magnificent finish for the first goal prominently displayed why he may be the preeminent talent in international football. His second goal displayed why he gets overrated, his goal tallies are paded by penalties.

Everton certainly did enough to get a result in the match, and were only foiled by a stupid penalty. For the Toffees to break into the top four, however, they need to turn their gritty performances against the top sides into results. Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

Liverpool crushed Pompey 4-1. This was a rather unexpected result, as Liverpool have been sup-par at Anfield this season and Portsmouth have been stellar away from Fratton Park. Though the pool are the better’s bane, as you never know which side will show up. Benitez chose a positive starting XI and they lit up the scoreboard for four goals. They would have had a few more if Dirk Kuyt could actually play football. Distin’s own goal would have been a Torres goal if Kuyt hadn’t played the ball two yards behind him.

Portsmouth’s performance spoke for itself. The defense was terrible. Sol Campbell’s mind was obviously too concerned with human rights violations to concentrate. A full beard is a quite fetching look, unfortunately for David James, his comes in patchy. Arry Redknapp’s jowels have their own jowels.

Chelsea beat Blackburn 1-0, continuing the Avram Revolution of flowing, attacking football.

Merry Christmas!