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Streit declares "to hell with Jens, I am the biggest Douche Nozzle in the league"

Who’s your douche-daddy?

Douche

That’s right Albert!

Angered that notorious douche-weasel, Jens Lehmann had grabbed all the headlines this week with his shoe throwing incident against Salid Salihovic, Albert Streit decided to take matters in his own hands by getting into a punch up with the non-ghetto Boateng brother, himself a bit of a douche-waffle.

His plan worked when he got his fellow douche-wad suspended by Martin Jol, who had to break up the douche-off. Streit has long been a controversial figure, who hasn’t been more than a douche-nugget for any team he has played for. He has spent more time promoting himself for the Mannschaft or Series A than providing any modicum of ability to the clubs that have been stupid enough to buy him.

So in a week where Hamburg should be all smiles as they seem poised to end a 26 year drought, let’s hope that Jol won’t live to regret purchasing the cancer that is Albert Streit. Whether they win or lose the title, I for one want it to be on the pitch and not because they were desperate in January and grabbed the first douche-mcmuffin available.

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