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Chelsea Fan's Opinion of Blues v Villa Match

By Mark Fishburn, EPL Talk Correspondent
(who was at Stamford Bridge yesterday and filed this report from London)

I should have known when I was woken up at 5.30 am by the loudest clap of thunder, that the gods were in disharmony. Later this was evident on the field at Stamford Bridge. I’m not sure what game Mourinho was watching: “Chelsea played incredible attacking football:”

To be honest the game did have some moments. When Didier Drrrrrrrrrogbarrrrr bundled the ball into the net when the game was a couple of minutes old, my seat was so far up in west stand that I actually hit my head on the roof when I jumped up to celebrate. The goalkeeper was tentative and he was punished by Drogba. For the next twenty minutes Chelsea created chances against a truly abysmal Aston Villa side. Gradually, Chelsea started to play two touches where one would do and Aston Villa started getting some possession and creating chances. After 40 minutes however, Essien, Lampard and Shevchenko finally put together a slick move that only lacked a better final pass from Lampard.

Then on the scene came “Curse of the Wenger.” Ashley (bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep) C*l* had been tightly making the Villa right flanker from a distance of 30 yards and then flew in with a tackle and was skinned by Agbonlahor. Luckily a last minute tackle by Terry (maybe it was Carvalho) forced the corner, after which the same player headed the equalizer from 12 yards.

C*l* had another wretched game and I’m trying to start a rumor that he’s being put out on loan to a Nationwide team till he learns marking 101. What the TV doesn’t show is how far off his winger C*l* plays. In the second half he repeated the maneuver and jumped in late to be roasted again. Apparently Sheva overheard a similar loaner conversation in the tunnel at half time because for the next twenty five minutes he started to attack Villa with pace and had his best spell since joining Chelsea. Even so, most of the efforts petered out. Agbonlahor again influenced the play with an excellent tackle when Lampard was put through on the edge of the 10 yard box. Drogba battled with limited service and Essien was the best of the midfield.

If heaven is where the Germans are the engineers and the police are British, chefs French, etc, then yesterday, Chelsea was where the back passing was by Lampard, the forward passing was by Makelele, the mazy dribbling was by Geremi, the right footed crosses were by Robben and the penetrating wing runs were by C*l* stumbling into defenders. Maybe they were all woken up by the same thunderstorm and stumbled out the wrong side of bed.

Clumsy Kalou came on and played like he’d been drinking Kahlua. (Just like the other times he’s played). SWP also brought a couple of good runs but then couldn’t get any passes when unmarked and finally had a shot from a very acute angle that glance of the crossbar.

Aston Villa created a few threats near the end but it’s evident that they still have problems.

Best moment for me was when Sheva was unfairly tackled and lost his right shoe. He demonstrated to Graham Poll by taking the other shoe off.

If Chelsea had been able to string a few more passes together and Lampard had attacked the goal aggressively, then a 2-1 result would have been fair. But they didn’t. Hurry back Joe Cole and Wayne Bridge.

Editor’s Note: If you’re a Villa fan, listen to the interview with lifelong Villa fan and former World Cup commentator Seamus Malin, or listen to the interview with fellow lifelong Villa fan (and stadium author Simon Inglis). Both are available on the EPL Talk Podcast.

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  1. Anonymous

    October 2, 2006 at 7:04 am

    I was at the game and proud of how we battled. we also in petrov had a focul point and had many attacks a fair result imo although we had to defend in large parts. the original report was a joke

  2. Anonymous

    October 2, 2006 at 5:54 am

    another chelsea fan who cant admit the fact that its HIS side that have problems, dropping points against an “abysmal” team? have a word with yourself chap

  3. Anonymous

    October 1, 2006 at 11:35 pm

    Appalling piece of writing…wondering if the writer’s first language is English…

    I also have to ask, like Jason, how do ‘match reports’ like this, make it onto your site…

    The best thing you could do is remove it.


    October 1, 2006 at 7:57 pm

    Cya at Villa prk new years day 07


    October 1, 2006 at 7:56 pm

    C U at Villa park, New years day

  6. The Gaffer

    October 1, 2006 at 7:43 pm

    Aye, try to keep your language in order. I’ve already removed a few distasteful posts.

    The Gaffer

  7. Anonymous

    October 1, 2006 at 6:48 pm

    The vitriolic posters who left four-letter words on here instead of using proper language should cut it out and have some respect for The Gaffer. You make me sick.

  8. villa fan...

    October 1, 2006 at 6:10 pm

    I was at the game and thought that villa had the chances to win this match. Angel and Baros were bundled when they were one on one with Cech. Graham Poll was shite and wouldnt give villa anything. Shevchenko didnt impress me… I think Chelsea should look to youth players like villas Agbonlahor instead of buying aging superstars who arent up to the job!

  9. JC

    October 1, 2006 at 4:20 pm


    Villa impressed me quite a bit, going into Chelsea and playing that well. Chelsea gave me hope that they might actually take a step back this year, despite their high level of store-bought talent.

    And then I’m reminded….it’s early.

  10. b23avfc

    October 1, 2006 at 1:30 pm

    Really you weren´t at the same match were you? “The goalkeeper was tentative and he was punished by Drogba”… is that how to describe bundling the keeper over with one attacker while the other tucks the ball away?

    “a truly abysmal Aston Villa side” – you obviously weren´t paying attention last season then…

    As for Graham Poll.. surely you´re most influential player. Even other chelski fans admit it was a penalty.

    I generally have no grievance against Mourinho and his men, and would like them to achieve their potential… but look out, even “a truly abysmal Aston Villa side” held you to a draw.

  11. Anonymous

    October 1, 2006 at 11:11 am

    What a crap report. You don’t seem to understand football let alone be able to write on an actual game. I can only assume Kelly is your sister.

  12. Anonymous

    October 1, 2006 at 9:42 am

    Total load of tosh. Considering Chelsea should have been reduced to 10 men for a pro-foul on Angel you should be grateful for a draw.

  13. Anonymous

    October 1, 2006 at 9:24 am

    good match report nice to see if from a fan’s sort of view. well done keep it up


  14. The Gaffer

    October 1, 2006 at 8:57 am


    Good point. It’s always interesting to get a person’s opinion of a match, to see how the personal account differs from the type of match we see on live TV.

    I agree that a report on the matchday experience would have been preferable, and we’ll take that into consideration for future postings.

    I’ll be flying to England in late November for a 10-day tour, so you’ll be seeing, hearing and reading what it’s like to experience the Premiership from a fan’s perspective at the matches.

    The Gaffer

  15. Anonymous

    October 1, 2006 at 8:50 am

    You are a twat. Is this your first or second season following Chelsea? Either way fuck off, we don’t want you representing us. Beware Villa, wankers like this will turn up at your place if Lerner brings you any success. Yeah, ok so Cole looks way short of the player he was at L’Arsenal but to slag a kid like Kalou off, given his improvement game on game over the last two weeks is absolute bollocks. Fair play Villa, they made a game of it. It’s nice to see a side come to Chelsea and have a go, not many do these days. Noisy support as well, perhaps next year you’ll take the full allocation!

  16. Ian

    October 1, 2006 at 8:30 am

    Mate – you’ve made a right c*ck of yourself witht that ‘report’…Maybe you damaged your brain when you banged your head? Our lot thought the Villa were one of the best PL teams we’ve had down here in the last 2 seasons…

  17. Anonymous

    October 1, 2006 at 8:16 am

    Not over impressed with this report tbh.

  18. jason

    October 1, 2006 at 8:08 am

    Seriously Gaffer, how do “match reports” like this add any value to your site? Frankly, it’s embarrassing. I, as an EPL Talk reader, would find it much more interesting if they wrote about their match day experience, something you wouldn’t be able to get from other sites.

  19. Paul

    October 1, 2006 at 7:41 am

    So Villa are “a truly abysmal team”??

    What a pile of shit. Villa more than matched Chelsea, and were unlucky not to nick it at the end.
    Were you at the same game as me yesterday?

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