Adventures in Fantasy Premier League, Gameweek 32

With just six matches to go in the 2012-13 Premier League season, it’s going to be over before you know it. But before we call the season a day, here’s a recap of my adventures in Fantasy Premier League from last weekend. 

Kevin Mirallas and the rest of Everton’s forward line: Last week, I recommended a few Belgian players. Kevin Mirallas (6.8) wasn’t one of them. However, now that Mirallas has scored his second “individual” goal in two games – proving that he’s more than just a one-slalom wonder – it would be silly to leave him out. Against Tottenham, Victor Anichebe (4.3), whom I thought Moyes would drop after Nikica Jelavic (7.8) scored against Manchester City, produced a performance replete with the refined thuggery that has made him so effective this year.

QPR has something to offer: Loic Remy (5.9) is probably too good for the Championship and will therefore leave QPR at the end of the season. For the next few weeks, however, he should continue to score Premier League goals (like the one he smashed home against Wigan), and if that means delaying Mrs. Redknapp’s long-awaited debut, too bad. Remy is French; maybe he’ll join Newcastle, the team he jilted back in January.

Cisse is back: Another late Papiss Cisse (8.8) goal, another late Newcastle win. Cisse also scored in midweek, against Benfica, whose captain, Oscar Cardozo – the guy who missed the penalty that might have knocked Spain out of the 2010 World Cup, thereby altering the course of history, and consigning Arjen Robben to yet another cup final defeat – would excel in the Premier League. Interestingly, Cisse’s hot streak has coincided with another Demba Ba (7.8) drought; Cisse and Ba are never in form at the same time, even when they’re playing for different teams.

Prepare for next weekend: A couple of FA Cup semi-finals are coming up next weekend, so consider selling or substituting players like Juan Mata (9.8), Eden Hazard (9.6), Carlos Tevez (8.7) and David Silva (9.3). And Shaun Maloney (5.0). And Franco Di Santo (5.3). Although, unless you’re one of those people who always do the opposite of what my column identifies as A Judicious Course Of Action, Di Santo is nowhere near your starting XI. Wigan, Manchester City and Chelsea are set to play midweek games, but a couple of teams – Manchester United included – have a double gameweek. Best to stock up on players like Rooney (12.0) and van Persie (13.6), if you ask me.

Chelsea’s defense, Cesar Azpilicueta: Apparently, the Chelsea players call Spanish full back Cesar Azpilicueta (5.6) “Dave,” which is a shame – I, for one, love Azpilicueta’s surname and have taken to enunciating its every syllable in public places, much to the annoyance of the people with whom I recently shared the men’s room in an upscale restaurant. On Sunday, Azpilicueta scored an own goal. Ask me if I care.

Join the EPL Talk mini-league within Fantasy Premier League to play against The Gaffer and thousands of other EPL Talk readers from around the world.

Read more by David Yaffe-Bellany at In For The Hat Trick and follow him on Twitter @INFTH.

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