Football is not always a beautiful game; sometimes bookings are necessary. Thankfully, we're on hand to keep all these bookings straight. There are 34 distinct offences that the DFB considers bookable. In their honor I've written this paean to the punished: We are here not to castigate but to celebrate these masters of misconduct, ballerinas […]

Schalke, currently sitting at the top of the Bundesliga, have surged ahead to the peak of another, less prestigious table – the goalkeeper injury table. First choice keeper Manuel Neuer has yet to make an appearance this season, having broken his fifth metatarsal during a pre-season friendly against SpVgg Erkenschwick (currently playing in the equivalent […]

This week we make the short trip west on the A40 from Dortmund past Bochum to Gelsenkirchen, home to Schalke 04 and their new coach, Fred Rutten. Much like his new Ruhr rival, Jürgen Klopp, Rutten has been a one club man for almost his entire 30-year playing and coaching career, all with FC Twente […]