Football is not always a beautiful game; sometimes bookings are necessary. Thankfully, we're on hand to keep all these bookings straight. There are 34 distinct offences that the DFB considers bookable. In their honor I've written this paean to the punished: We are here not to castigate but to celebrate these masters of misconduct, ballerinas […]

While this is expected to become a weekly column, I have decided to hand out the first Weekly XI based on the cumulative efforts of the first three weeks. I will use a 3-4-3 formation for my picks. GK: Mathias Schober (Schalke 04) – The veteran backup has taken over during Manuel Neuer's injury and […]

1st Schalke What You Know: If baseball's Chicago Cubs had a baby with the Red Sox prior to 2004, Schalke would be the offspring. What You Don’t: All things both good and bad must end. What to Expect: Yes, Campeones! I say that, bucking all trends, and knowing full well that Schalke could be leading […]