Who’s your douche-daddy?
<div><figure class="external-image"><img src="http://www.bundesliga.de/media/images/00_vereinsbilder/schalke/080110_streit_3.jpg" alt="Douche"></figure></div>
That’s right Albert!
Angered that notorious douche-weasel, <a>Jens Lehmann</a> had grabbed all the headlines this week with his shoe throwing incident against Salid Salihovic, Albert Streit decided to take matters in his own hands by getting into a <a href="http://www.bild.de/BILD/sport/fussball/bundesliga/vereine/hsv/2009/02/24/albert-streit-und-jerome-boateng/zoff-beim-hsv-training.html">punch up</a> with the non-ghetto Boateng brother, himself a bit of a douche-waffle. 
His plan worked when he got his fellow douche-wad suspended by Martin Jol, who had to break up the douche-off. Streit has long been a controversial figure, who hasn’t been more than a douche-nugget for any team he has played for. He has spent more time promoting himself for the Mannschaft or Series A than providing any modicum of ability to the clubs that have been stupid enough to buy him. 
So in a week where Hamburg should be all smiles as they seem poised to end a 26 year drought, let’s hope that Jol won’t live to regret purchasing the cancer that is Albert Streit. Whether they win or lose the title, I for one want it to be on the pitch and not because they were desperate in January and grabbed the first douche-mcmuffin available.

Streit declares "to hell with Jens, I am the biggest Douche Nozzle in the league"

Streit declares "to hell with Jens, I am the biggest Douche Nozzle in the league" - World Soccer Talk

Here’s this week’s Bundesliga XI. It is packed with Bayer 04, Hoffenheim and Werder players. It does include a special shoutout to the man who ended Energie’s goal drought, an under appreciated defender from Arminia and a goalkeeper who lost.
<a href="http://epltalk.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/8/files/2008/09/week5jpg.gif" title="week5jpg.gif"><div><figure class="external-image"><img src="http://epltalk.com/wp-content/blogs.dir/8/files/2008/09/week5jpg.gif" alt="week5jpg.gif"></figure></div></a>
1. Schalke 04 
Now 10 of their last 13 have been scored by defenders. This time it was Patrick Ochs. Unfortunately for the lad, he plays for Eintracht.
2. TSG Hoffenheim 
I guess you can hassle the <a href="http://soccernet.espn.go.com/news/story?id=575080&amp;cc=5901">Hoff</a>. First it was Gladbach and now Dortmund fans. BVB was forced to apologize for protests that threatened violence to Dietmar Hopp. It’s no wonder the clubs voted against scrapping the 50+1 rule a fortnight ago.
I find it rather infuriating that fans are getting their knickers into a bind over a club’s patron. It’s within the rules of the game, and is no different that Bayer 04 or Wolfsburg. I think the issue is that Hoffenheim are building their club properly from the ground up. They aren’t just buying expensive talent, but good young talent as they establish their infrastructure, ground and academy. This worries the supporters of clubs who know their clubs are not making the same investments in these critical areas.
3. VfB Stuttgart 
Thoroughly dominated their fierce rivals to go third in the league. Mario Gomez has rebounded well from a poor Euro campaign.
4. Hamburg SV 
If you keep leaking early goals, its bound to catch up with you. While they pressured Wolfsburg relentlessly in the second half, the goals needed for another comeback were just not there. But as always, at least Martin Jol provides entertaining football.
Chairman Bernd Hoffmann presented a budget that puts the Dinosaurs third to Bayern and Schalke in revenue. He is also seeking to connect with three local investor/patrons to create a new club fund to help buy stars in the future. It has been dubbed “kick ³”, and could be a new innovation in the Bundesliga. Dortmund fans now have two to kill.
5. Bayer Leverkusen 
Anyone still taking bets that Bruno Labbadia will be the first trainer fired this season? Bayer are playing a fantastic brand of football and keeping pace with the leaders. Their dismantling of Hannover was a complete team effort from Augusto to Helmes to Henrique.
6. VfL Wolfsburg 
A thirty minute barrage against Hamburg sees Magath’s side creep up the standings and remain one of the few unbeaten sides this campaign.
In another piece of good news for the club, they had absolutely no players in <a href="http://www.bild.de/BILD/news/bild-english/sport-news/football/bundesliga/2008/09/24/the-best-german-football-haircuts-from/panini-stickers-of-80s-and-90s.html">Bild’s list of worst haircuts from the 80’s and 90’s</a>.
7. Werder Bremen 
The good news: they own Bayern in Munich and they are through in the cup. The bad news: Hoffenheim and Inter are next.
8. Bayern Munich 
The good news: Ribery is back! The bad news: he will be deployed as a wing-back!
9. Hertha Berlin 
Having had success in Serbia with Gojko Kacar, who is putting in goals along with sweeping up in front of the back four, apparently Hertha are headed back for Partizan’s wunderkid Zoran Tosic.
10. Borussia Dortmund 
Valencia’s Timo Hildebrand has been linked with a move to BVB after being frozen out of the Valencia squad by new coach Unai Emery. I have never been convinced by Weidenfeller and view this as a great move by Klopp, but an even better move by Timo, who should have a role in the national team.
11. VfL Bochum 
They are going to regret dropping five points against fellow travelers KSC and Cottbus so far this season. Their next seven games include matches with Bayer 04, Bayern, Stuttgart, TSG, Dortmund and Werder. A home tie against Gladbach may be their only chance at full points over that period. Expect them to drop faster than the Dow.
12. Arminia Bielefeld 
I thought Artur Wichniarek’s clinching goal this weekend against Koln was candidate for goal of the season. He had a beautiful touch on the long delivery that took the ball away from the charging Mondragon. He then cut right to pick up the ball left by Breko and Matrip who were rushing back to cover the net and chipped the two players. Had he directly shot on goal, one of them would have stopped it. It was fantastic.
13. FC Köln 
Things are not good for the Billy Goats. Daum can’t settle on a midfield and thus it has been poor all season. Wome is a complete and utter liability.&nbsp; They were hammered by Arminia and Mainz within 5 days. And now comes rumors that they are trying to get trouble maker Albert Streit back from Schalke.
14. Hannover 96 
On the plus side, the flu eventually runs its course. But the Reds need their current pandemic to end sooner rather than later as it has effected at least seven squad members.
15. Karlsruhe 
I thought they could cope without Eggimann. They can’t. Funny thing is that he looks absolutely pants for Hannover. But so does Stefano Celozzi.
16. Borussia Monchengladbach 
The win against Werder is looking like an aberration. Inconsistency from players such as Marin and Alberman and even the tactics of Jus Luhukay, who can’t figure out if he wants to play a 4-4-2, 4-5-1 or 4-3-3, are the main cause. On the plus side, Jus has ended his feud with defender Steve Gohouri over injury treatment.
17. Eintracht Frankfurt 
After another loss left, which left them in the relegation zone, was followed by an exit from the Cup at the hands of Hansa Rostock, rumors were spreading that there were crisis talks between Bruchhagen and Funkel. This is not good news for Eagles supporters as the last time they fired a trainer mid-season, they were relegated.
18. Energie Cottbus 
They got their first goal and first point of the new campaign. Their midweek cup win was a gluttony of goals for Energie as they put three past Gladbach. We won’t mention that they were all from the spot.

die Tabelle lügt nicht: Week 5 (Now w/ the Bundesliga XI)

die Tabelle lügt nicht: Week 5 (Now w/ the Bundesliga XI) - World Soccer Talk

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die Tabelle lügen nicht! Preview - World Soccer Talk

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Streit declares "to hell with Jens, I am the biggest Douche Nozzle in the league"

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die Tabelle lügt nicht: Week 5 (Now w/ the Bundesliga XI)

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