David Ackerman

Derby 0 – Manchester United 1 This match epitomizes the season for both clubs. Derby worked but weren't quite good enough. United's only enemy was their own cuteness. Ronaldo should have scored at least three, or more according to his own verbal tally. Birmingham 1 – Newcastle 1 The result risked being critical, but little […]

Fulham FC sprang back to life on Sunday, with a startling 1-0 victory over European-bound Everton. The win, Fulham's fourth of the season, places gives them 23 pts – an effective four points away from safety. However, Odds and Sods will now make a bold prediction. Fulham will not be relegated. The club has momentum. […]

Arsenal have just one defeat in the league this season – shoddy solace for a third-place finish. The Gunners have played four Premier League matches since Feb 11. Though maintaining their ever crucial unbeaten streak, they have dropped eight points to Manchester United, who are now level on points, ahead on goal difference and have […]

A message posted in the Liverpool FC forum on the Liverpool Echo's website has sparked speculation about a fixing of Friday's Champions League draw in Nyon. The post, received at 10:28 AM (90 min prior to the draw) read as follows. “RUMOUR going around the draw has been leaked . . . this is no […]

Chelsea Midfielder Frank Lampard has, unsurprisingly, begun clamoring for a new contract with the club. Lampard, 29, has 15 months remaining on his current deal, expiring at the end of next season. After talks slowed last Summer, Lampard halted negotiations so that he could concentrate on football. He now feels slighted that Chelsea held him […]

Everyone was crying after this match. Merseyside denizens shed tears of joy. The Nerrazzuri cried into their cappuccinos. Neutrals bellowed in agony at having been forced to watch the full ninety minutes. But, for better or for worse, Liverpool is through to the Champions League quarterfinals defeating Inter Milan 3-0 on aggregate. Liverpool held a […]

Birmingham 4 – Tottenham 1 Spurs tried on the big boy pants, only to end up wearing them around their ankles. They had a sick party last weekend. This weekend they were simply sick. The rear guard is rubbish. Robinson has evolved from awfully fat to just awful. They are closer to the relegation zone […]

Arsenal 2- Birmingham 2 Eduardo's injury – a horrific broken leg – stole the headlines. But, it did not decisively affect the outcome. Luck controlled much of it. Birmingham capitalized upon one free kick – a questionable call – and one penalty – a blatantly wrong call. Fabregas had two goal-worthy efforts, one stopped by […]

They were surprise shocks felt around the world, or so much of the media would have you believe. Vultures scrupulously circled a cavernous Anfield as the Scouse nation struggled to surmount the sickly hangover of a late Liverpool crumble. Ferguson's men shattered Arsenal's fragile psyche, leaving them fighting to keep the fabric of the fantastic […]

ESPNsoccernet is reporting that Red and White Holdings Ltd. has increased it's share of Arsenal F.C. to 24%, making the group the second largest shareholder behind Daniel Fiszman who has 24.11%. The lock-down agreement preventing a takeover bid expires in April. Cue the Darth Vadar Theme (David Dein enters)

It was night of black armbands and barren kits in Manchester, which only served to emphasize the sponsorship everywhere else as Man City shocked Man United 2-1 at Old Trafford. It is no coincidence that most of Man U's losses come without Wayne Rooney on the pitch. Ronaldo can score goals but even he with […]

Sweeping from the left A goal only he could score Zinedine Kilbane

After this weekend a Google search for "Sven" and "Up the Arse" won't lead you astray as Arsenal defeated Manchester City 3-1 away from home to move to the top of the table. Adebayor dropped a deuce, scoring in his eighth straight match. Eduardo also controlled a ball magnificently with his chest to set up […]

Liverpool owners Tom Hicks and George Gillett have announced the approval of their 350m GBP debt refinancing, allowing them to maintain ownership of the club and to begin construction on a new 70,000 seat stadium. Only 105m GBP of the debt will be saddled upon Liverpool F.C., with the remainder to be assumed by Hicks […]

Newcastle buzzed with electricity. The entire town pitched in, stealing Burger King hats and spray painting them black and white. The Geordie Messiah took the pitch to a rockstar's welcome. Mike Ashley ordered a whopper, but he didn't have it his way as Newcastle drew Bolton 0-0 at St. James park. Bolton looked toothless and […]