Well the season is over and to be completely honest, life sucks. After the Champions League final we as a people are going to be deprived of a steady source of meaningful football until August. What am I supposed to do with all this free time I’ll have on the weekends now? I guess I could do some work around the house (fat chance), spend time with my family (HA!) or start working out more on the weekends (good luck with that one).
In all honesty the summer break, no matter how brief it may be, is the worst time of year for a soccer fan, especially in a non Euro/World Cup Year. There is literally nothing aside from the odd summer tour and random friendlies, which are nothing more than glorified training ground exercises. The only thing that keeps me going during this barren period (aside from hard liquor) are these magical little articles that populate the blogosphere known as Transfer Rumors. When you think about it, Transfer Rumors are no different than the god awful celebrity gossip that takes up the other 95% of Twitter that isn’t used by soccer. So while we may make fun of our significant others for getting excited because Kim Kardashian is going to ruin her child’s life by giving it a god awful name, I have no doubt they’re making fun of us for getting excited over the fact that Alvaro Negredo is going to West Ham. Trust me, they’re judging you.
But it’s those Transfer Rumors that sustain us throughout the summer. You know you’ve seen a rumor about a player coming to your team, immediately gone to FIFA and put that player on your team. Just to see how it would work out when you get FIFA 14. We’ve all done it. But because football media is so full of journalists, bloggers and Twitter experts, it’s tough to weed out what’s credible and what’s just absolute horse crap. So the following is a breakdown of how much weight you should probably put into the rumors you may see during the summer. It’s a system that I’ve painstakingly developed to help myself determine how much weight I should put into a rumor. The rumors will be measured by the amount of “Shreeves” (That’s probably metric, not sure) it weighs. The higher the Shreeves, the less likely I am to believe it. So without further adieu, let’s fire up the scale, start breaking down and weighing these rumors.
Weight: 100 Shreeves
There are really only two untouchables in the world of football and we all know who these two are. Any rumor you see involving Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo are going to be full of Shreeves. We all know the reasons why and even though there were rumors that Ronaldo was unhappy at Real Madrid, he’s not leaving anytime soon. These players are worth more than whole leagues and have no reason to leave the clubs they’re at because their brands are directly linked to them.