It’s the week of the Cheltenham festival, so in order to celebrate, this edition of fantasy football tips will take on a slightly equine nature. Apologies in advance for the inevitably dodgy puns. I’ll try and ensure that there’s not too much horse play…

Anyway, to business. Just like horse racing, it’s crucial that you’re able to separate the fine young fillies from the rusty old nags if you’re to succeed at fantasy football. In order to do this, you should remember three things:

1. Check the form
Form can do funny things to players/teams/horses. Take Emile Heskey for example – when he’s in form (an all too rare occasion nowadays) he often looks like an International striker, even one capable of starting for a country with serious World Cup aspirations. Yet, when he’s out of form, he just looks like, well, Emile Heskey.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting you ever select Emile Heskey. Not even when he is in form. But I am suggesting that you take a look at his team-mates. Villa play two games against bottom half opposition in the coming fantasy week (Wolves and Sunderland). Both are at Villa Park and both should really end in home wins. Add Villa’s good recent form into the equation (only one defeat in their last sixteen games) and their miserly defence (six clean sheets in their last nine league games) and Villa players suddenly look more attractive than a thoroughbred in a top hat.

The handicapper recommends –
Stephen Warnock (Aston Villa)
James Milner (Aston Villa)

2. Don’t ignore the obvious (pt.2)

Sometimes it doesn’t take in-depth statistical analysis, or dodgy tips from Irish bartenders, to know that you’re onto a good thing. Sometimes, it’s just a case of noticing the bleedin’ obvious and getting in there before the horse has bolted.

Anybody that introduced Wayne Rooney into their side last weekend will already know the benefits of following this particular pointer but if you didn’t then all you need to know is this. Didier Drogba is a fiendishly good, if somewhat petulant striker. He should be fired up after his mid-week nightmare against Inter Milan. He will be a part of a Chelsea side that play Blackburn Rovers and Portsmouth. And most importantly, he WILL score goals.

The handicapper recommends –
Didier Drogba (Chelsea)

3. Remember that life doesn’t always make sense

Sometimes all the knowledge and planning in the world just doesn’t make a jot of difference and a big favourite can have a mare for no particular reason (just ask backers of Dunguib and Master Minded). So why not stick your neck out and throw Jimmy Bullard into your side.

Why? I hear you ask. Well, why not?! He’s back from injury, he has a new manager, which can often inspire a reaction, his side take on the all but relegated Portsmouth and he has brilliant hair.

The handicapper recommends –
Jimmy Bullard (Hull City)