Two things that I love about the Premier League are the transfer window and the rampant, unashamed culture of gambling on sports in England.

In the United States, we have our trade deadlines for American sports, but they never quite reach the dizzying level of speculation that the transfer windows do. Further, the trades are so darn complex with players moving both ways, future draft picks and whatnot that it’s hard to have knee-jerk assessments of the transaction. Soccer transfers are easy to comprehend because it is just trading money-for-player (usually).

Also, in the somewhat puritanical USA, we just don’t talk about gambling on sports all that much. That’s why fantasy sports and NCAA tournament brackets are so popular: It’s a legal way for average Americans to gamble on sport. But, my goodness, the Premier League is just something else. If you’re an American and you’ve never perused the gambling possibilities on SkyBet, Paddy Power, bwin, etc., I encourage you to do so now. American minds explode at the possibilities.

Being a general believer in the power of “prediction markets” and a fan of Manchester United, I decided to skim through the current transfer odds on the SkyBet site. Not so much because I want to gamble (because real money is involved), but you can start to see the truth of what really might happen for United during this transfer window.  I encourage you to do the same for your own favorite club.

SkyBet doesn’t make it easy as they list transfer odds player-by-player rather than team-by-team (if they listed the odds as I do below, even chronic gamblers would demand better odds), but I have decompiled the United odds for your reading pleasure.  There are two quick observations:

1). There is really zero gambling value in that list.  Clearly United fans the world-over are gambling with their hearts and SkyBet is gladly taking their money.  If you looked at these odds, it would imply that United is buying 5-6 players in this window when most fans are probably expecting 1-2.  We should all quit our day jobs and start offering bets to Manchester United fans.

2). It is probably a rough ranking of priority and and likelihood of players arriving at Old Trafford.  Once you get finished laughing at the fact that there are United fans gambling at 12/1 on Cristiano Ronaldo coming back to Old Trafford this January, there is still some utility in this list.  Even if you think that gambling on Ilkay Gundogan at 2/1 is insane (it is!), he is more likely to be bought than players with longer odds. You could also consider it a global-crowdsourcing of United fan’s identifying the club’s weaknesses and needs.  It basically implies that United will buy a left back (Baines or Coentrao) and 1-2 midfielders from the list of Koke/Gundogan/Herrera/Vidal/Sneijder/Lallana. That’s probably about right.

The odds of footballers heading to Manchester United:

Koke 4/7
Leighton Baines 8/11
Ilkay Gundogan 2/1
Ander Herrera 2/1
Fabio Coentrao 5/2
Arturo Vidal 5/2
Wesley Sneijder 3/1
Adam Lallana 7/2
Juan Mata 9/2
Ross Barkley 9/2
Ravel Morrison 5/1
Brede Hangeland 6/1
Xabi Alonso 7/1
Marco Reus 8/1
Julian Draxler 9/1
Sami Khedira 10/1
Nemanja Matic 10/1
Phil Jagielka 10/1
Luke Shaw 12/1
Cristiano Ronaldo 12/1
Pedro Rodriguez 12/1
Gonzalo Higuain 16/1
Yohan Cabaye 16/1
Radamel Falcao 20/1
Diego Costa 20/1
Michael Essien 20/1
Victor Valdes 20/1
Joleon Lescott 20/1
Zlatan Ibrahimovic 20/1
Kevin DeBruyne 22/1
Tom Ince 25/1
David Luiz 25/1
Mario Balotelli 25/1
Christian Benteke 25/1
Karim Benzema 25/1
Will Hughes 28/1
Jordan Rhodes 33/1
Edin Dzeko 40/1
Lars Bender 50/1

Do the same with your team. See who the bookies and gamblers think your club may buy.

I feel sorry for MLS.

Sure, I think their business model is sort of wacky and elitist. Why can’t they just adopt promotion/relegation like the rest of the world? Why can’t they just have a single table with a balanced schedule? And salary caps? That’s almost contrary to the spirit of world soccer!

But still, I do feel sorry for them, for several different reasons:

1. They’re losing the TV war.

MLS is trying to do something that is very bold and difficult: They’re trying to create a new, globally important soccer league in 2013. To do that, they need money. To get money, they need TV networks. To get TV networks, they need fan attention.

It sounds simple, right? Just get some fan attention and the TV networks will pay big dollars to broadcast your games and you use the money to buy the best players. Soon you have a virtuous cycle and the Europeans are paying money to watch your games on their televisions. Ha….how about THAT!

And, it would be simple except for the era when MLS was trying to pull off this feat.  When MLS started in 1996, the problem was the most Americans didn’t care about soccer. In 2013, Americans are interested in soccer, but find they can easily access comprehensive coverage of the superior leagues in England, Spain, France, Germany and Italy along with a smattering of Mexican, Scottish, Australian, Brazilian, Argentine and lower-level English games.

A typical Saturday can start with Rooney, RVP, Ozil and the other stars of the EPL, a noontime switch to Pirlo, Balotelli, Vidal, Buffon and other Italians, before a late afternoon of Zlatan, Cristiano, Falcao and Messi.  If you watch that all day, those first touches in the New England – Sporting KC game look really grim. It’s like watching foosball.  I mean….how much soccer can a man be expected to watch!

And if you squeeze in that MLS game on Saturday evening, when are you supposed to play FIFA? That Career Pro you’re working on in the Irish League isn’t going to build his attributes by himself!

2. The country is too large to have a lot of teams local to all large metro areas.

Wait… I hear you say that we should “support our local clubs.”  We should be patriotic and support American soccer!  But, the closest MLS club to my home in North Carolina is DC United. It’s 5 hours away by car. “But we’re probably expanding to Atlanta soon!”  Except that Atlanta is 5 hours in the other direction.  It would take less time to drive from Newcastle to London than for me to drive to an MLS game. And I don’t live in the boondocks. North Carolina is the 10th largest state in the USA with a population of ~10MM. That’s more than the combined populations of Wales and Scotland combined yet we do not have an MLS team and don’t seem to have any prayer of ever being awarded one.

Simply stated, to have a similar density of “top” clubs as a true footballing nation like England, Germany or Spain, the US would need ~100 powerful teams (and several thousand lower-league and semi-pro clubs in the lower divisions). We’re not even close to that.

3. Even the weather doesn’t cooperate with MLS.

The MLS schedule avoids the winter partially because winters in Toronto are cold.  But because of this, they play games in the summer in Houston.  The rumor mill suggests that MLS will soon expand to Miami and Atlanta.  Have you ever been to Atlanta in July?  It isn’t even pleasant to be a fan who sits still with a cold beverage in July to say nothing of the athletes who have to run for 90 minutes in that heat and humidity.  When your league includes all of the United States and Canada, it is impossible to find a calendar that suits the entire geographical area.

None of this is to harangue MLS and to say they should adopt promotion/relegation or a single-table or the FIFA calendar.  I’m just pointing out the bravery of a group that looks at all these massive structural challenges and still says, “Screw what these lower division clubs do… where they just try to build a local market… [Make a wanker gesture.]  We are expanding to big TV markets!  We’re going to build a global soccer powerhouse in the next 10 years!”

How can you not enjoy the spectacle of it all?

So, if you’re like me and occasionally find fault with so many things that MLS does, let’s at least keep in mind the challenges they face. It would drive people to drink. I surely wouldn’t want their job.

Editor’s note: For the latest news, opinion and analysis, visit our Major League Soccer page for more articles.

I didn’t play soccer as a child. I’m one of those American soccer fans who came to the sport as an adult.

I wasn’t one of you.  I’m new(er) but found that I could inhale a LOT of soccer knowledge via wikipedia, satellite TV, live games, blogs, podcasts, etc.

Pretty quickly, I become knowledgeable even if I wasn’t authentic.

But I had another “soccer awakening” at the ripe age of THIRTY-NINE.  I decided I wanted to learn to play soccer. America doesn’t have training for middle-aged dudes. You just have to sign up for a league, hope for tolerant teammates and learn as you go.  I did that about a year ago and it has changed not only how I watch soccer, but has increased my appreciation of certain aspects of the game. I’m honestly shocked at how differently I view/appreciate aspects of a game that I thought I understood before.  When people ask what position I play, I tell them that I am a competent goalkeeper and a very mediocre, but pacy right winger.

Here is a list of things that have changed for me since I supplemented watching with doing…

1. Player’s feet: At live games, I used to watch the whole field.  Now I watch players feet to see how they do it.

2. Fitness My goodness are those professionals fit.  Lungs of IRON and legs of STEEL. It’s inhuman!

3. Pace: I knew pace was important before. I’d seen fast players abuse slow players, but hadn’t realized what an equalizer pace is until I played. If you are fast, you can overcome technical flaws. If you are slow, you better have technique because the fast guy is running away from you.

4 Communication: When you just watch soccer, you don’t realize how much the players talk to each other.  You certainly don’t see it on TV and even at a live game in a small stadium, you can’t hear most of what they’re saying.  I played all the traditional American sports growing up and none of them require the level of communication that soccer does. I’m still weak in this area – which is a problem as a keeper – but it’s mostly because I’m not used to talking this much in sports. Never shut-up.

5. Teammates: Now I totally understand now why new players take a while to settle into a new team.  You get to the point where you basically know what all your teammates tendencies are, where they will be… trust what they can do.  They almost have a body language that indicates what they’re about to do.  The other team can’t see it, but you can.   

6. Defensive midfielders: Now that I’m mostly a goalkeeper, I can’t tell you how much I LOVE a solid defensive midfielder or centerback.  I never fully appreciated them before.  I love my teammates who snuff out those 3-on-2 situations, who are always available for a teammate to drop the ball to, who are never out of position and generally improve the shape of the team.  They’re not flashy, but it’s hard to win without them.

7. Target forwards who can relieve pressure: Sometimes we have one of those games where we just can’t maintain any possession.  It’s awful.  Constant runs into the box, defenders pushed very, very deep.  Goalkeeper can’t see the ball through all the bodies.  Then someone gets ahold of the ball and can hoof it to a target forward at midfield.  Even if it doesn’t start a break the other way, if he can just hold the ball for a few seconds, it lets us reset the defense. 

8. The power of direct play: Sometimes soccer is pretty simple: Kick the ball past the defender and run.  I’ve learned that a lot more goals get scored that way than via all this fussy passing nonsense.  If you’re stronger and faster than your defender, why screw around?  Just blow past them.  There’s nothing scarier for a keeper than an athletic team that plays very direct.

9. Shots from distance: This is a cousin of direct play in that it disdains the 10-pass, intricate movement (that almost never works). Let it rip! Keepers hate shots from distance because we have to be intensely focused the second the ball comes within ~30 yards of goal and we often cannot see the ball perfectly amongst all the feet and legs.

10. How skillful central midfielders are on the ball: When I play the field, I play on the wing. I can usually get open by sprinting 30 yards to an empty spot on the field.  Central midfielders like Scholes or Xavi or Schweinsteiger can’t do that; they have to stay in their spot.  They’re always receiving the ball with a defender on their back, yet they receive, control and distribute almost every time.  Amazing.

11. The beauty of an insurance goal: I guess I knew how important this was before I started playing, but as a goalkeeper…I am much more comfortable at 3-1 than at 2-1.  Heck…let’s make it 4-1!

Playing is eye-opening.  Especially as an adult when you’re kind of doing it for fun….but also because you’re focused on learning.  So, if you haven’t ever played or haven’t played in years, give it a shot.  You’ll learn a lot more about the game from your own personal experience.

What about you? Did you grow up playing? Do you play now? Share your stories in the comments section below.

The news that Sir Alex Ferguson is retiring as manager of Manchester United at the end of the 2012-13 season brings a medley of emotions.  Of course, as a United fan, I am sad to see him go.  SAF has been about as successful as any coach/manager of any professional sport – ever.

Naturally, everyone’s attention has already shifted to the big question: “Who will replace the legend as manager of Manchester United?”  At this time, I thought it might be appropriate to share the story of the last time in my sporting life that a legendary coach retired.

In addition to being a Manchester United supporter, I’m also a fan of the University of North Carolina.  From 1961-1997, UNC was coached by a gentleman named Dean Smith.  I include the link to his Wikipedia page merely so I don’t have to recount his entire career as coach. After his 36 year career, he retired as the winningest coach in college basketball history with 2 national titles, 17 conference titles, 11 Final Fours and a who’s-who of notable alumni (including that Michael Jordan fella).  He was coach for so long that many of his players and former assistants had gone on to have notable coaching careers of their own before he retired.  I was a junior at UNC when Dean Smith won his last national title and my memories of celebrating with tens of thousands of other fans on a cold and rainy night in Chapel Hill was one of the highlights of my time in college.  I still don’t understand how people managed to light celebratory bonfires in that sort of rain.

However, all good things must come to an end and Dean Smith retired just before the 1997 basketball season was to begin.  And, from this point forward, UNC made a series of errors that damaged the basketball program.  There are so few examples of a coach/manager stepping away after decades of massive success that I would hope that the Glazers would stop for a moment to consider some of UNC’s missteps when they appoint Sir Alex Ferguson’s replacement.

Consider the errors:

• Overly deferential to the departing coach’s wishes: When Dean Smith retired, he did so in a very calculated way.  By retiring merely a month before the 1997 season, he forced UNC to appoint his longtime assistant coach Bill Guthridge as the new head coach.  There was simply no time to locate another coach before the season.  Smith felt that Guthridge deserved a turn as head coach and timed his resignation to force UNC to hire his friend.  Guthridge’s first season went very well as UNC reached the Final Four with a 34-4 record.  That first season, the entire UNC community was sustained by this notion that Guthridge provided a sense of continuity.  However, in Season #2, cracks began to show.  Guthridge was not as good of a recruiter as Dean Smith and probably not as good of a coach either.  He was also 60 years old and clearly not a long-term replacement.  By the end his third season, Coach Guthridge retired.  While UNC had little choice but to appoint Guthridge to replace Smith for the 1997 season, they should not have made him more than an interim head coach.  UNC erred by doing what the legendary Coach Smith wanted when it was clear that Coach Smith was more interested in helping his longtime friend (Guthridge) than doing what was best for UNC’s basketball team.
  
• Searching solely within the “UNC System” – After Coach Guthridge retired, UNC clearly had an opportunity to hire the best coach in the land.  The UNC coaching job is to college basketball what the Manchester United managerial job is to club soccer.  UNC’s search turned immediately to the University of Kansas and Roy Williams.  Williams was a UNC alumnus, had been an assistant to Coach Smith from 1978-1988 before becoming the head coach at Kansas.  At Kansas, Williams had lit the world on fire, accumulating numerous accolades as “the fastest coach to 100/200/300 victories in a career”.  Williams was clearly an outstanding choice for the job.  But Williams turned UNC down….probably because he didn’t want to be the guy following the Dean Smith Act or maybe he felt he had unfinished business at Kansas.  Who knows?  After Williams turned down UNC, UNC’s search began to flip through the other candidates from the “Dean Smith Coaching Family Tree”: Larry Brown, Eddie Fogler, Billy Cummingham, George Karl, etc.  It was a maniacal search that totally excluded other qualified candidates.  By limiting their search to coaches who would continue the “UNC tradition,” they limited themselves and didn’t pick the best candidate.
  
• Trying to hire a coach who could stay for another 36 years – When UNC finally replaced Coach Guthridge, it was with Matt Doherty.  Doherty had played for Coach Smith in the 1980s and had was seen as an up-and-coming assistant coach, but came to UNC with only ONE season of head coaching experience.  But, the hope was that because Doherty was only 38 years old, that he might remain as coach for the next 30 years.  There was a very real sense in the UNC community that coaching turnover is something that happens at yucky colleges.  It’s very similar to the way United and Arsenal fans sneer at managerial turnover at Chelsea/Liverpool/Spurs.  Well, despite some initial success, Doherty was a disaster.  His second season, UNC slumped to a losing record (first time since 1962) and missed the NCAA tournament (first time in 27 years).  Beyond this, there were all sorts of unseemly allegations that the players hated him and that he kicked over chairs in the locker room.  It simply wasn’t the way things were done at UNC and Doherty was fired after his third season.  By placing too much focus on finding a long-term solution, UNC overlooked many excellent and proven coaches in their search and hired a man with numerous red-flags.

After Doherty was fired, UNC finally was able to convince Roy Williams to leave Kansas.  Williams was the right choice not because he comes from the UNC system or the “Dean Smith Coaching Tree”, but because he is a great basketball coach.  Over the last 10 years with Williams, UNC has won 2 national titles, advanced to 4 Final Fours and won 6 ACC titles.  But, even with all of that success, we still had a stinky 2009-10 season where we finished with a 20-17 record and missed the NCAA tournament.  He’s still no Dean Smith, but they kinda broke the mold when they made that guy.

I think Manchester United could learn a lot by looking at the missteps of UNC’s coaching searches in the aftermath of Dean Smith’s legendary career.  Having Sir Alex Ferguson as your manager is a once-in-a-lifetime experience and trying to catch lightning in a bottle a second time is a poor strategy.  Just hire the best manager for the club.  Don’t turn your nose up at Jose Mourinho just because he “moves around every 3-4 years and THAT is not the United way”.  Don’t rush to embrace someone like Gary Neville or Ryan Giggs or Ole Gunnar Solskjær just because they are young and will “continue the United way for the next 25 years”.  Don’t hire David Moyes just because SAF likes him.  Don’t exclude Jurgen Klopp just because he has no ties to United and the Premier League.  Don’t ignore Rafa Benitez just because SAF won’t shake his hand sometimes.

Don’t try to hire the next Sir Alex Ferguson because that is impossible.  Just hire the best person for the job.  You’re Manchester United.  You can probably have your pick of a LOT of pretty good managers.

Is it any surprise that match fixing occurs?  Every year countless billions are wagered on sports around the world.  In 2011, $3.2 billion was wagered on sports… in Nevada casinos alone!  Just online sports gambling in England, France, Italy and Spain equals about $15 billion.  Between legal and illegal (or casual) gambling, we are talking many, many, MANY billions of dollars worldwide.  This magnitude of money attracts a lot of people and companies – and not all of them are upstanding.

It probably isn’t too hard to fix matches.  All you need is a married footballer, beer and a prostitute willing to record her “encounter” with the footballer.  The footballer even pays for their own beer!  Awesome!  All the match fixer needs to recoup is a few thousand dollars of prostitute expenses and that’s pretty easy: Just suggest to the footballer that the video will be released to the footballer’s wife if he demonstrates any sort of first-touch in a key game next month.  The bonus is that now that football is a proven womanizer AND a match-fixer.  You’ll own him for the rest of his career.

The question is probably why doesn’t this happen more often.  The logical conclusion is that the only thing holding back match fixing is the knowledge that other shady individuals are compromising other footballers and that they might cancel each other out.  Gah….it hurts my brain and I’d rather not even think about it.^.

Perhaps a better question is: “What do we do about it?”  Common solutions are usually things like player education and increased law enforcement.  Neither is likely to be effective because that’s what we do now and it doesn’t work very well.

Here’s an idea: How about enlisting the services of those who are economically screwed by match fixing?  No, I’m not talking about the clubs.  Real Madrid recently topped Deloitte’s “Money League” with ~$660 million in revenue.  Yawn….small potatoes…..  I work at a moderately sized U.S. medical center that generates about four times as much revenue as Real Madrid.  These clubs are really small concerns from a financial standpoint.

Did you see those BILLION numbers at the top?  Legal sports gambling operations are the biggest losers in match-fixing scandals.  Those operations exist on the appearance that average sports fans can win money gambling on sports.  When average sports fans decide that the game is rigged against them and that the only people making any money are the scumbags, then the average sports fans reduce their gambling.  That is bad for a legal sports gambling operation, so they have the largest interest in cleaning up the sport.

Sports leagues would be well-advised to stop treating legal sports betting operations like pariahs.   These legal operations have the biggest interest in the games being fair.  Further, these legal operations probably have some sophisticated ideas about how to catch the shady individuals who sully our favorite games.

Plus, it’s a much better idea than my second best idea of publishing the names and addresses of match fixes in the paper and letting the industry “self-regulate”.  Ha….only kidding!

What do you think should be done to stop match-fixing?

Given Oldham Athletic’s triumph over the mighty Liverpool FC this past weekend, this story needs to be told.

A few weeks ago, I enjoyed the 3rd round of the FA Cup. The highlight of the weekend was watching Mansfield Town (5th tier of English soccer, ~5K Twitter followers) valiantly lose at home to Liverpool (Top 10 EPL, ~1.5MM Twitter followers) and Luis Suarez’s wrist (why is there no Twitter parody account called Luis Suarez’s Wrist?). The whole scene was surreal: the cow-pasture of a pitch, the Mansfield owner and his trophy wife, the seats Mansfield left vacant for the Hillsborough victims and the controversial handball. It was a great scene.

After the game, I decided I should do something to support this plucky little club ~3800 miles from my home and visited the Stags online shop. I bought a “FA Cup Commemorative Scarf” because I knew I’d never wear a Stags kit. I have a small soccer scarf collection of non-conflicting clubs and this would be a wonderful addition; whenever asked who Mansfield was, I could tell them the story of that FA Cup game.

To be clear, I’m not saying I’m a new Stags fan for life. This isn’t one of those stories where an American needed an English club and the “club found me”. I was just impressed with the Stags pluck and thought they deserved $20, much like one would tip an impressive street musician.

Weeks passed, and finally the package showed up. As I ripped at the envelope, my heart sank a little. See….the Mansfield Town website did not say that this “FA Cup Commemorative Scarf” was one of those dreadful 50/50 scarves and that half of the scarf was devoted to Liverpool FC.

This is problematic as I’m a Manchester United fan. I can’t sport Liverpool FC gear! My scarf collection is full of complimentary clubs and MUFC and LFC are an incongruous as you get! My whole plan for introducing Americans to the beauty of the FA Cup via scarf questions went up in smoke!!!!! Even my child noticed the scarf and said, “Daddy…why do you have a Liverpool scarf? Don’t we hate them?” Yes….we do HATE them sweetie!

However, all was not lost. Whether it is jogging, snowboarding or tending horses in the wee hours, we all have wintertime activities that require a scarf, but don’t necessitate anyone else looking at the scarf (and assuming I’m a BIG Liverpool fan). So, the scarf was relegated to this second string duty. I was even careful to tuck the scarf such that only the yellow Stags portion was visible around my neck; it was as if the Liverpool half didn’t even exist.

Then, one day while wearing the scarf, I was presented with that wonderful joy of parenthood: cleaning up a child’s vomit! We happened to be in an outdoor location with (a) no running water and (b) no clean rags. If this vomity face and pair of hands was to be cleaned up, it would depend on an item of clothing on my body. My shirt? No…too cold. My gloves? No….too filthy. Perhaps I could use some dry leaves off the ground?

Suddenly it occurred to me that I had the PERFECT use for that 50/50 scarf. Not only did I not mind getting vomit on the Liverpool half, it would be kinda fun! So I carefully folded the scarf – taking care to protect the Stags half – and wiped up every last drop and chunk. “Blow your nose into the scarf, honey!”

It just goes to show how perfect that scarf is. It isn’t just a scarf: It’s a barf-rag! Now when I wear that scarf, I can not only tell friends about a wonderful soccer match, but I am prepared for vomit, blood, runny noses or other bathroom emergencies. Wonderful! It’s like traveling with a roll of toilet paper!

Still….I think I’ll just purchase a “normal” Oldham Athletic AFC scarf.

In the Arsenal against Manchester City match, what a way to spoil a perfectly good game of soccer, huh? Referee Mike Dean didn’t have a whole lot of choice when Arsenal defender Laurent Koscielny wrapped his arms around Manchester City forward Edin Dzeko and dragged him to the ground inside the 6-yard box. Law 12 makes it pretty clear what needs to happen there: Penalty kick + red card.

Of course, the “problem” is that this happened in the 9th minute of play meaning that Arsenal had to play virtually the entire game with only ten men. Nothing is guaranteed in soccer, but against a very good club like Manchester City, the result felt pretty inevitable. I’m actually surprised that City only won 2-0.

Even though I have no problem with Mike Dean’s following of the rules, it does make me wonder about the rules themselves. A big part of the attraction of soccer is that we have these binary outcomes. It really doesn’t matter if a side is dominant, passes well and creates a ton of opportunities because if they don’t score they can still lose to a team that puts their sole opportunity of the game into the back of the net. That’s why clinging to a one goal lead can be so nerve-wracking. I love that part of the game.

But, I hate the way red-cards and penalty kicks dramatically influence outcomes, so let’s think about these rules. I’m not advocating any of these be adopted asap, but consider them food for thought. I’m a newer soccer fan; many times newbies spout nothing but drivel, but sometimes we might have a moment of insight because we’re less invested in the status quo.

• Why do all red-cards have to be for the remainder of the game? – The big objection to the Kosceilny red-card is that Arsenal had to play 80 minutes with only 10 men. Sometimes referees ignore fouls early in a game for that reason or give a yellow when the foul was pretty bad. Koscielny’s foul wasn’t dangerous or reckless (those should stay as-is). What if Koscielny was just sent off for a period of time? How about 45 minutes? Think of the fun of watching the manager decide whether to make a substitution or not! Think of the shot of adrenalin Arsenal would have gotten if Koscielny reentered in the 55th minute. Would Vincent Kompany have been sent off to “even things up” if Koscielny could’ve reentered?
• Why do all penalties have to be from the same spot? – Koscielny’s foul clearly merited a traditional penalty: He got mauled to the ground in the 6-yard box. But, why does a questionable handball at the edge of the 18-yard box merit the same penalty kick? What if the referee could award a penalty kick from further out for lesser infractions? Or put the penalty kick off to one side or the other and make the penalty taker bend it into the net? Heck….who wouldn’t enjoy the drama of the keeper selecting the side for an angled PK knowing it would influence who takes the kick?

Wouldn’t this make the game more fun? Anything that lessens the vicious bickering about referee calls would be good for me.

While soccer is growing in the United States, the fandom of an American soccer fan can still be a solitary experience.  Most people I interact with on a daily basis aren’t fans of the sport, much less enthusiastic fans who will want to chat about last weekend’s action or the more recent transfer gossip.  Honestly, this is what I expect from native Americans.

It is very different with immigrants to the U.S.  Find a person with a funny accent and they can usually tell you what club they are a fan of and which youngsters are about to break into the national team.  Whenever I travel on business, I usually have an entertaining 20 minute conversation with the cab driver about soccer and get the scoop on the Indonesian/Egyptian/Ivorian/etc. soccer scene.  Further, almost all of them are also fans of an EPL club, so we can can chat about that too.  It’s great fun and has taught me to reflexively ask, “What club do you support?” anytime I hear English spoken with an accent.

But one country’s emigrants and ex-patriots never live up to expectations. And surprisingly, that’s England.  In my profession, I happen to interact with a fair number of Englishmen and here are some responses to my canned “what club do you support?” question (all from the last ~6 months):

Englishman No. 1: “I love football, but don’t really have a club.  I just enjoy watching whoever is playing attractive football.”  Oh so that means you enjoy Arsenal or Swansea?  “When did Swansea get promoted?”  Sigh….

Englishman No. 2: “I actually enjoy rugby more. I guess if I had to pick a club, I’d say I support QPR, but I don’t follow them very closely.”  [I check] So, do you think that Harry can keep them up?  “Harry who?  I’m sorry….I really don’t follow them much.”

Englishman No. 3: “I guess I support Tottenham, but I really don’t follow them much.  You know who you should talk to if you want to talk about soccer?  You should talk to that guy over there.  His son plays professional soccer somewhere or other.”  And he then proceeded to introduce me to the father of a current MLS player with whom I had a lovely 45 minute conversation about soccer.

Englishman No. 4: “I never really followed soccer as a boy. I guess now that I’ve been in the U.S. for 30 years, I kinda follow Manchester United just because they’re on TV all the time.” Awesome, I support United also!  Isn’t it great how well RVP and Rooney are teaming up after everyone said they wouldn’t be compatible? Blah, blah, blah….  “Um, I really don’t follow them all that closely.”  Sigh….

Englishman No. 5: “I support Liverpool.” ….and he wouldn’t really say anything else.  I couldn’t really tell if he had nothing to say or if he just didn’t want to share the inner culture of Liverpool with a stupid American.

Englishman No. 6: “I’m actually from Glasgow, but I’m a huge Rangers supporter”  Thankfully he didn’t stab me in the neck for assuming he was from England – his accent was very slight – but we then had a fabulous 45 minute conversation about the insolvency of the club, the departure of all the American players, how those American players were perceived in the community, the travails of playing in lower tier Scottish football against teams made up of shepherds and plumbers….  Basically, it was exactly the type of conversation I wanted to have with the Englishmen.

One of my favorite sayings is, “The plural of anecdote is not fact.”  I clearly don’t have a huge sample of Englishmen, but I am noticing a disturbing pattern that Englishmen in America tend to not be soccer fans – or at least not passionate soccer fans who actually follow the daily doings of their clubs.  My working theory is that these guys are all 45+ and graduate educated and perhaps all that soccer hooligan behavior from the 80’s wasn’t very enticing to these guys when they were in graduate school or young professionals?  Perhaps the demographics of Englishmen who come to live/work in the U.S. isn’t in sync with soccer fandom?

So, my questions to you: What’s going on with these chaps?  Do I have an idealized vision of everyone in England being soccer fans?  Have I managed to find the only non-soccer fans from England?  Have you ever been disappointed by someone you were SURE would be a huge soccer fan?