Fantasy Premier League Tips: Adventures in the Fantasy Premier League

Gameweek 22 is almost over. There’s just one match to conclude the gameweek (today’s Chelsea vs Southampton match), but here are my observations from my adventures in the Fantasy Premier League.

Clint Hill’s QPR keeps a clean sheet: Last week, I was a little hard on a certain Queens Park Rangers defender. Sorry, Clint (4.3). You’ve looked a lot better lately. And a clean sheet, too. Wow. Congratulations. And I hear Harry’s about to sign Odemwingie (6.9) and Remy. Good for QPR. Congratulations again. (DO NOT SIGN CLINT HILL.)

Jonathan Walters: On Saturday, Jon Walters (6.6) scored two own goals and missed a penalty in a performance that was so bad it was funny — until it got really bad, at which point even the Chelsea fans stopped laughing. Worse, Walters was supposed to be celebrating his 100th Stoke appearance. I’ll leave unanswered the question of whether Walters’ Stoke career is worth celebrating. I don’t want to hurt his feelings more than I already have (you know, first by mentioning the Chelsea game, then by making a slightly churlish crack about his Stoke career). I’m doing the right thing. Pat me on the back.

Different team, different bib, same bench: Daniel Sturridge (7.3) joined Liverpool because any striker whom the Chelsea manager leaves on the bench is, by definition, worse than Fernando Torres (9.7), which is embarrassing on many levels. But I’m not going to talk about Torres, since he, like Walters, is a human being, and, moreover, he’s going to have to watch Demba Ba (8.9) score a lot of goals over the next few months, which will hurt. Sturridge scored in Liverpool’s loss at Old Trafford. And get this: he used his feet.

Robin van Persie is good at football: I haven’t dedicated a full section to Robin van Persie (14.1) in a long time. That’s because writing about van Persie always feels like a study in total obviousness, kind of like writing about Leo Messi, only van Persie would never in a million billion years wear that suit. If van Persie isn’t on your team, a) what’s wrong with you? and b) sign him tomorrow.

Lukaku > Benteke (for now): After Aston Villa’s 3-1 win at Anfield, I labeled Christian Benteke “the next Drogba.” Things change. Villa conceded eight goals at Stamford Bridge, then lost 4-0 to Spurs and tried to pass it off as some sort of grand improvement, a defeat from which Positives Could Be Drawn. Forget Benteke. Sign West Brom’s Romelu Lukaku (6.4).

Join the EPL Talk mini-league within Fantasy Premier League to play against The Gaffer and thousands of other EPL Talk readers from around the world.

Read more by David Yaffe-Bellany at In For The Hat Trick and follow him on Twitter @INFTH.

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