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Hey Mark Wahlberg – Dis Beckham All You Want, But Leave Soccer Alone

marky mark

In a long and completely boring interview with London’s Daily Mail, Marky Mark Wahlberg had this to say about his neighbor David Beckham:

Man, the Beckhams. It used to be so quiet on my road. Then David moves in with his family. Suddenly we’ve got paparazzi hanging out day and night. Now they’ll follow any car that drives down the road….I’m not telling Beckham to take his family home. I’m just not sure why he came to America in the first place. Man, we don’t want your soccer. There’s no way Americans are going to buy the idea of 90 minutes of running around without much happening. Thanks for trying guys, but we’ll stick to baseball and basketball.

Hey Marky – say what you want about Beckham, but there is no reason to insult the most popular sport in the world.  There are millions of soccer fans in the United States, and I don’t see any of them telling you how to avoid sounding like a lobotomized chimpanzee when delivering your lines.  Besides, if I wanted to spend 90 minutes watching someone run around without much action, I would have plunked down $9.50 to see you in that piece of excrement The Happening this summer.

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  1. abercrombie london

    July 2, 2010 at 10:27 pm

    I sure haven’t heard those complaints a million damn times!

  2. masini

    February 14, 2010 at 11:51 pm

    Paparatii truth is that these guys get you out of mind. There’s privacy.

  3. Bobby

    December 31, 2009 at 2:20 pm

    Apperently, and allegedly, soccer isn’t the only thing Marky Mark isn’t fond of, among the others are:

    Black children –
    Asians –
    …and his neighbors –

  4. Soccer Fan

    December 31, 2009 at 7:02 am

    MLS? Sorry, but this is not real football. Guys, let’s start watching european leagues (Primiera Division, Premier League…) – this is football! Everyone who doesn’t like this sport, after watching eg. Real – Barcelona or Man U – Chelsea will change his mind.

  5. Paul

    December 31, 2009 at 6:52 am

    If someone thinks that baseball (one of the most stupid sports) is better than football, then he has to f**king idiot.

  6. Butt Seriously

    December 31, 2009 at 1:09 am

    I enjoy how the article was written directly to Mark. If te guy ever had any inclination to read a post on this site, he wou’dn’t have said what he did in the first place. This should have been posted on MLB-talk not MLS-talk (I’m randomly assuming such a site exists). That way , ya know–he could be made properly aware of what you’re trying to tell him and stuff.

  7. francesco

    December 30, 2009 at 6:32 pm


  8. kevin_amold

    December 30, 2009 at 3:32 pm

    Wow. So much angst about what Mark Wahlberg thinks about the sport we love. My assumption is already that every American already hates soccer. That way, when I meet someone that loves it like I do, it’s a pleasant surprise. And that way when someone like Wahlberg spouts off, I’m unsurprised.

    It’s a little cynical, I know.

  9. Joe in Indianapolis

    December 30, 2009 at 1:49 pm

    Oh snap! The Happening did suck

  10. alisonrose

    December 30, 2009 at 11:27 am

    “Besides, if I wanted to spend 90 minutes watching someone run around without much action, I would have plunked down $9.50 to see you in that piece of excrement The Happening this summer.”

    LOL!! Nice 🙂

    What a tool. And what trite arguments – oh really, it’s boring? Not enough goals? Gee, I sure haven’t heard those complaints a million damn times! I wonder if he’s ever even watched a real soccer game? Most people I’ve encountered who shit-talk it end up admitting they’ve never seen a game beyond some local high school or something. Anyone who could watch Chelsea or Barcelona or whoever play and think it’s boring is obviously insane, so we don’t need to listen to them anyway.

    Ugh, American nationalists annoy me. (And yes, I’m American. But I’m not a world-hating douche like Wahlberg.)

    • Joey Clams

      December 30, 2009 at 11:55 am

      Aren’t you precious.

      • alisonrose

        December 30, 2009 at 1:04 pm

        I am, in fact. Thanks for noticing!

        Also, piss off.

  11. Charles

    December 30, 2009 at 10:55 am

    That was supposed to be a question:
    “DB, you can’t do any better than Mark Wahlberg’s neighborhood?”

  12. Charles

    December 30, 2009 at 10:54 am

    DB, you can’t do any better than Mark Wahlberg’s neighborhood.
    More people are fans of the Fiji soccer league in Arkansas ( apologies to anyone living there ) than follow him.

  13. Mike

    December 30, 2009 at 10:48 am

    Shouldn’t Marky Mark view this as good news? Now there’s actually a chance that the paparazzi will follow him — at least until that figure out that it’s him, and not Beckham, in the car.

  14. Mickey T

    December 30, 2009 at 10:32 am

    Oh wow first he degrades futbol for time consumption and no action i.e. scoring and then in the next breathe commends baseball as quick and exciting. Now I love baseball, played it, but 2 and a half hours of a 1-0 pitchers dual is not exactly an action filled afternoon is it? Now some would say you have to know the sport to appreciate a 2 + hour pitchers dual to which I say you have to know futbol to apprecate a 90 minute 1-nil match. So maybe he should stick to bad scripts, stiff acting or learn the game and then comment. Typical self important celeb.

  15. Joey Clams

    December 30, 2009 at 9:46 am

    I’m with you, guys. But we’d all be better served to examine our sport with the idea of determining why it continues to invite jest. Lash it out at the critics all you want but by doing so you’re living up to the stereotype of the aggrieved soccer fan.

    • Auguste

      December 30, 2009 at 1:00 pm

      Ah yes, the “let’s change the world’s most popular sport to conform to our American expectations for spoon-fed entertainment” concern troll. Love you, man.

      • Joey Clams

        December 30, 2009 at 1:08 pm

        I didn’t say that. Consider, so, the promptness with which American soccer fans demonize the soccer-averse, reach conclusions and advertise their supposed sanctity. The presumed moral and superiority of American soccer fans asks to be mocked. Even MLS with its lame commitment to domestic “human rights” makes a cheap stab at hipster relevance and begs to be satirized.

  16. Ata Dizdar

    December 30, 2009 at 2:36 am

    And Mark Wahlberg has been relevant since when now?

    • Joey Clams

      December 30, 2009 at 1:11 pm

      There you go. The obsession with relevance and the presumption to determine who is or isn’t relevant. Can’t you see that the breezy, cocky, supposedly hip arbitrariness of soccer fans can be grating?

  17. scott

    December 30, 2009 at 1:57 am

    Because baseball is such an exciting sport…

    • idahosa

      December 30, 2009 at 2:15 am

      thats my first thought…we all know baseball is the most boring sport out there lol marky mark needs 2 be quiet..u dont have to like soccer but dont bash it….to each his own…..damn dis made me mad tho u see more people playing soccer in the world then baseball and basketball put together…hes kinda ignorant shut up mark hes just jealous he dont get paparrazi like beckham because in his own country beckham is more popular than him i mean come on GOO SOCCER

      • Name

        December 30, 2009 at 2:51 am

        “we all know baseball is the most boring sport….to each his own” LOL. Just had to point that out to you.

        • idahosa

          December 30, 2009 at 3:01 am

          lol ok u got me but as i typed i juss got madder and accidently contradicted myself lmao but i mean to each his own but mant people say baseball is boring it kinda is

  18. dan

    December 30, 2009 at 1:34 am

    marky mark needs to be meet all the supporter groups in the usa. he’ll get his ass kicked.

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