This is not the worst team in the Premier League. It is the least valuable. This team would incite the masses with talent, with name recognition and with expense. They would then fail pathetically. This team could be composed entirely of Newcastle players, but we thought we’d include a few others to keep things interesting.
Emmanuel Adebayor (Arsenal): Doubled his salary this season. Halved his work rate and effectiveness.
Michael Owen (Newcastle): No longer an elite player, no leadership value, paid like someone with both.
Damien Duff (Newcastle): Expensive, complacent and ineffectual, Duff is a perfect emblem for Newcastle’s season.
Joey Barton (Newcastle): He makes £60,000 per week. No description needed.
Deco (Chelsea): Barcelona – better when he left. Chelsea – better when he stopped playing.
David Bentley (Tottenham): Once tipped to start for England, can’t even start for Tottenham. Spurs won eight out of eleven league games he did not play.
Gareth Bale (Tottenham): Spurs still have not won a Premier League match he has appeared in.
Micah Richards (Manchester City): Has regressed rather than progressed, a testament to Capello’s insight.
Gary Neville (Manchester United): Waste of a squad position.
Andrea Dossena (Liverpool): One reason Rafa Benitez should have to work for his transfer funds.
Craig Gordon (Sunderland): Sunderland allowed 113 goals the past two seasons. Not all Gordon’s fault, but you would expect more impact, given his transfer fee.
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