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Newcastle United Just Keep Getting Things Wrong

Why is it so hard to do things right at Newcastle United? Well, I know the majority of issues are down to the current owner but sometimes I think the club seem to be a vacuum for bad decisions, bad signings and mixed messages. It’s no wonder the fans are so fed up with the nonsense that seems to surround the club at the moment. Sometimes it seems there transfer policy seems to be based on “What’s that, you’ve an unstable midfielder with a penchant for apologising and then causing more trouble? Certainly, how much do you want?”

Monday nights home game against Portsmouth had been preceded by a call to arms from Alan Shearer to the Geordie nation as crowds had begun to fall, desperation is creeping in, even Newcastle’s fans are beginning to fear the worst. Shearer was everywhere, on Sky, On the BBC, local radio, national radio, everywhere urging the fans to come back to St James’ Park and get behind the team and shout them home. The club got leaflets printed for all the seats so the fans could show support and to whip up the fans beforehand, local opera singer Graeme Danby was booked to serenade the faithful with a rendition of the Blaydon Races.

Perfect you may think? Ah, but this is Newcastle United and it seemed that the occasion had got our local opera singer as after finishing the Geordie anthem, he then decided to give the travelling Portsmouth fans a bit of stick. Unfortunately he still had his microphone on, and decided to ask them ” Have you come in a F###### car?” swiftly followed by “You’re the Mackems of the South Coast”. Well there’s nothing wrong with the lads geography I have to say, though the comparison to Sunderland was probably better being aimed at Southampton, rather than Portsmouth. Ah well!

So, they then proceeded to miss the opportunity to gain some valuable points by stuttering to 0-0 draw and remained in the bottom three, though they rose above Middlesbrough into 18th. Shearer was trying to be positive after the game and so he should, Hull City and Sunderlands current form seem to offer all the bottom three a glimmer of hope that the impossible will be achieved as they stumble towards the final day. The way the Tigers and the Black Cats are going at the moment, they’d struggle to beat an egg.

Michael Owen however, wasn’t reading the same script. He thinks they have absolutely no chance on Sunday against Liverpool. “We go to Liverpool next and we finish the season at Aston Villa and if we can get something from those games, then of course we’ll grasp them. But being a realist it’s the home games that our major focus now” With no goals in 9 games, his confidence probably at his lowest since he started at the top level, Michael Owen may as well wear a sign around his neck saying Goodbye Newcastle.

I can’t believe the change in him as a player during his injury plagued stint at Newcastle, it’s been hell for him. He’s going to be off in the Summer whether Newcastle stay up or not I think, but who’s going to sign an injury prone striker who’s on a barren run. He’s 30 this year, is he really going to be able to have another big club come in for him now? Of course, he’s got Tottenham Hotspur or Manchester City to fall back on, such is there eagerness to sign big name players on the way down.

Yes, it looks bleak for Newcastle, but they have two home games left, tough matches that they are, and for a side that has only won 4 home league games this season, they need to raise themselves to levels rarely seen this season but the games are not impossible to win. 6 points would be a major shot in the arm, but Middlesbrough need the win just as badly. A draw for both sides and Hull and Sunderland gaining anything at all will probably condemn them both next week but with the sides in 17th and 16th playing so dreadfully and having no luck at all, the light of survival still twinkles for the Geordies.

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  1. Phil McThomas

    April 30, 2009 at 4:11 pm

    Newcastle are starting from a marginally better position (compared to Boro). Hull have an invaluable three-point headstart, but the hardest run-in.

    Remaining fixtures are very similar – possibly Newcastle having the advantage of being at home in the game against Boro.

    However, Newcastle have the worst form of the three sides – 2 points in 8 games. Boro have picked up 8 points in that time.

    Neither Boro or Newcastle can have any confidence that they will get 3 more points than Hull over the next four games. A single win by any team will probably give them a decisive advantage,

  2. Andrew

    April 30, 2009 at 3:35 pm

    All that you guys can comment about is the pic and the exact words Danby said?! Surely there’s more to discuss than that!
    Michael Owen is going to do nothing but help bring Newcastle United down into the Championship next season if Shearer continues to play him for a full match. The reason he isn’t doing anything on the pitch is because he doesn’t care about the club at all, and doesn’t want to get injured before the end of the season so that he can get a good transfer deal at the end of the season! Totally worthless. Most pathetic excuse for a captain of this once-proud club ever!

  3. David Allison

    April 30, 2009 at 6:53 am

    I think West Brom are down and the other two spots are between Newcastle, Boro and Hull. I think we (Newcastle) are best placed to survive. The following results aren’t impossible, and are actually quite likely – and, most importantly, would keep Newcastle up:

    Boro: Man Utd (L), Newcastle (L), Villa (D), West Ham (L)
    Hull: Villa (L), Stoke (D), Bolton (L), Man Utd (L)
    Newcastle: Liverpool (L), Boro (W), Fulham (D), Villa (L)

    We would be on the same amount of points as Hull, but their poor goal difference would be the deciding factor. It all hinges on our Boro game, which we HAVE to win.

  4. Dave Atkinson

    April 30, 2009 at 4:25 am

    It’s Chelsea in the picture. You can see a Chelsea banner hanging from the stands.

    I only watched Danby on the telly down here in Birmingham before kick-off and he was completely cringe-worthy. He was supposed to be singing, not chanting. He just looked like another fat bastard who had stormed the pitch. Muppet.

  5. Thomas

    April 30, 2009 at 1:28 am

    The fact that the fans of Newcastle get shafted year in year out, it seems, I must commend them on their loyalty.

    It’s too bad that a club of Newcastles stature could be relegated.

    Even worse, they have some big earners, so it’s fire sale, or even more debts.

  6. Graham Poll

    April 30, 2009 at 12:05 am

    the picture isn’t of pompey. birmingham maybe?

    the geordie pavarotti said “Have you come in a f****** taxi”, so not far off. he definitely did swear. it was low on dignity whatever he said. the wacky races song seemed a poor choice, 52 verses, much in Chaucerian verse, lmbo not really a call to arms.

    and it wasn’t a full house at SJP on Monday, under 50,000.

  7. MM

    April 29, 2009 at 9:53 pm

    thanks frank, i agree. although the rest of the world does call it it epl. don’t shoot me, i’m just the messenger. they do that (i think ) because they need to differentiate between their countries teams

  8. bedford

    April 29, 2009 at 8:59 pm

    well said frank. you can even tell this isnt the portsmouth match because they are wearing the kits from four years ago.

  9. Frank

    April 29, 2009 at 7:36 pm

    First of all that photo isn’t from Monday’s game, are you pretending it is? It was a full house as far as I remember.

    Second of all Graham Danby didn’t say Have you come in a f****** car, I was there (you obviously weren’t) – he didn’t swear.

    Thirdly what the hell is he EPL? Or do you mean the Premiership? There’s no such thing as the EPL. If you can’t get that right then your journalism can’t be up to much can it?

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