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Who Would You Rather See Relegated: Tottenham or Newcastle?


It’s two-thirds of the way through the season, and purported big clubs Newcastle and Tottenham remain entrenched in the relegation rumble.

Newcastle sputtered amid boardroom confusion, after the departure of manager Kevin Keegan.  Tottenham played woefully under Juande Ramos and their squad has flat-lined after an early revival from Harry Redknapp and his magical ketchup.  Both teams sit within five points of the drop.

Both Tottenham and Newcastle have an odious stench and many neutral detractors.  So it begs the question, which big club relegation would be more enjoyable?

Boardroom: Tottenham

Newcastle escaped from Fat Freddy Sheppard’s unctuous palms when Mike Ashley bought the club.  Ashley’s had his poorly thought out moments, notably wearing a Newcastle shirt, boozing it up with the patrons and bungling the Kevin Keegan fiasco.  But, despite the Cockney Mafia signs, he seems to have tried to the decent thing.  Genuinely hurt by the fans’ response, he made a good faith effort to sell.  Any more misery piled on him seems gratuitous at this point.

Levy, in contrast, deserves whatever pain comes his way.  Spurs are on manager number seven during his chairmanship.  Damien Comolli was successful everywhere else.  Martin Jol and Juande Ramos are doing decent jobs in their new gigs.  Levy has been ever present, as have the same problems – a babied squad, overspending on attacking players and an incompetent back four.  Levy has taken no responsibility for consistent failure.  Nor has he changed tack.  Relegation would be fitting.

Player: Tottenham

Apart from the pantomime Joey Barton, Newcastle’s players pose no problem.  They can hardly be blamed for their hodgepodge assembly under a succession of managers, board leaders and financial environments.  Most will be playing for other squads next season, regardless of the league.   There is no particular glee from seeing these players relegated.

Tottenham, however, would be delightful.  Their players epitomize the problems with English players.  They would rather toil in lucrative mediocrity while enjoying the London lifestyle at Spurs, rather than challenge themselves at a Big Four club or a Champions League club elsewhere in Europe.  Their players are gutless in pressure situations.   They celebrate minor triumphs disproportionately. It would be fantastic to see Tottenham’s players down.

Managers: Newcastle

Joe Kinnear is a pompous dinosaur.  The thirtieth-choice manager rolled into the Premier League on a whirlwind of vitriol.  His comments toward reporters, referees, and players have been clownish, both in subject matter and sentiment.  During the initial recovery it was his doing, when the team began to falter again, it was the players fault.  He deserves the stain.

Harry Redknapp is greedy, slippery and always for sale.  He’s been linked, but not charged with transfer corruption.  He’s manipulative.  But, no one outside the greater Portsmouth area would accuse the man of being evil.  He’s no Kinnear and he’s worth keeping around, at least for his jowls.

Fans: Tottenham

Newcastles Geordie fans come with all the assorted jokes.  They’re louts, lardos and drunkards.  When shirtless, it’s hard to tell the men from the women.  They are probably unemployed.  They support their team beyond all reason on message boards.  But, they are true, passionate fans – you would have to be to root for Newcastle.  They would be pathetic and heartbroken.

Spurs fans are abusive, racist and homophobic, which is marginally worse than Newcastle’s Mido-directed malevolence.  What edges the judgment toward them is expectation.  Spurs spent heavily in the summer, forcing fans into the delusion of a Champions League place.  For Tottenham fans to travel from those heights to relegation in nine months would be catastrophic, and amusing for those not involved.

Conclusion: It would be far more enjoyable if Tottenham went down.

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  1. shava

    May 28, 2010 at 5:20 pm

    well sp*rs are used to mediocrity. if they had to boo a player of their own it’d be a whole new language coz that’s all they’d be doing all the time since their whole team is shit unlike arsenal where a few players are not up to the standards(needless to mention they are still way to good for spurs even at that state)
    on a serious note those booing are a bunch of wankers and these writer brings shame to the profesison. Newcastle are a good team,can’t speak for spurs. how about an exchange now that the Gordies are back spurs go to the championship?

  2. hollywood

    February 9, 2009 at 8:31 pm

    At least spurs don’t boo their own players off the pitch

  3. hollywood

    February 9, 2009 at 8:29 pm

    What is it with top 4 clubs wanting to shit on the so called “lesser” teams? What – i suppose it would be such a thrill for Man u, chelsea, arsenal & the pool to just play each other week in week out? It’s never nice to get relegated, and im hoping that neither newcastle or tottenham will go out – and at this point in time it looks like that’s not going to be the case. If spurs get relegated who will poor Arsenal have to pick on….? Nevermind, i’m sure they’ll find something to moan about – wenger always does.

  4. Cid from Indiana

    February 9, 2009 at 12:12 pm

    —Their players epitomize the problems with English players. They would rather toil in lucrative mediocrity while enjoying the London lifestyle at Spurs, rather than challenge themselves at a Big Four club or a Champions League club elsewhere in Europe.—

    I’m no Spurs fan, but honestly, is this what we’re calling it these days? It isn’t the Big 4 ® overpaying and buying up all the talent in an effort to retain their grasp on the money at the top of the Premiership (Champions, UEFA, etc.), not through superior tactics but through brute force and funds, it’s players who want to challenge themselves?


    I’ve never read any of your other work, but I’d be willing to go out on a limb on two things-

    1. You’re a Big 4 fan (probably not ManU though, I’m thinking Chelsea for some reason, or possibly Arsenal).

    2. This isn’t as light-hearted as you wish it were.

    Better luck next time, mate.

  5. Dan

    February 9, 2009 at 9:29 am

    tyduffy – if I were you, I’d be less concerned with trying to convince people that it was a “lighthearted” article and perhaps examine what in the name of god possessed you to write such turgid shit in the first place.

  6. Paul Bestall

    February 9, 2009 at 5:41 am

    As a fellow writer on here and a Tottenham fan, I find your labelling myself along with all other Spurs fans as homophobic racists extremely offensive. Tottenham has a history of being one of the most forward thinking clubs in regards to the intergration of black fans and players and to be labelled a bunch of racist homophobe is ignorant, pathetic and quite simply beyond the pale.
    How 16 fans (who were all caught thanks to the effort of the majority of Spurs fans, myself included) then cloud your judgement to the rest of us is incredible niave and stuns me.
    If you’d have stuck to football then fine, but I will never tolerate being called a racist or homophobe. I am neither and have always expected and championed equality for all, regardless of creed, colour, sexual orientation and religion.That is an insult too far.

  7. RF Interference

    February 9, 2009 at 12:48 am

    Leave Ledley alone. I’m always confused why it is such a big deal when players go out drinking after a match (obviously getting wrecked the night before is a problem, but it’s not one of Ledley’s). The man has one functioning knee, and in an article in which you rip English players for taking it easy, you take a cheat shot at King who’s been gutting it out long after most would have walked away from the game.

    And for what? Getting drunk after work? That certainly makes him a rarity among Englishmen…

  8. ArthurArseGooner

    February 8, 2009 at 11:46 pm

    look at all these spuds crying about this article. hahahaha. every time a spuds fan cries, a sick child feels better.

  9. ArthurArseGooner

    February 8, 2009 at 11:43 pm

    Spuds in the championship!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  10. tyduffy

    February 8, 2009 at 7:57 pm

    I think it’s fairly clear given the title, subject matter and the overall tone that my article was meant to be light-hearted.

  11. J Smith

    February 8, 2009 at 5:29 pm

    What an absolute disgrace of an article – shows a complete lack of knowledge of the English game by tarring all fans with the same brush as a very small minority of idiots.

  12. Han

    February 8, 2009 at 1:56 pm

    I rather enjoyed the article. 🙂 If people read the title and then still take it serious (or as anything other than a humorous jab) then some major chilling is in order. And I wouldn’t want to see either of them go down, nor do I think either of them will.

  13. stu

    February 8, 2009 at 12:28 pm

    chris wot did the yids do in the 80s and 90s

  14. stu

    February 8, 2009 at 12:26 pm

    chill out mate, by the way you dont mention your team, im a newcastle fan living in london. ill say this for the Tottenham fans, they got there team throw reason the same as newcastle fan it where your from are parrent, but in most cases it make sense. (true fans) where i guest at some piont in your life you liked the winning team so you susported them, judgin by your tone i would guess Arsenal, i bit better cos you been sliping for the last 5 year. (villa and everton have a more solid def, villa might even have a better att. then it a bare midfield). plus they have no money, good luck i wish your club the best, but you should start talking on there failings not spurs and defo not newcastles. or jus remove your chip

  15. Pete

    February 8, 2009 at 11:04 am

    Harry Redknapp is greedy, slippery and always for sale. He’s been linked, but not charged with transfer corruption. He’s manipulative.

    …Do you have any idea what Kinnear was up to at Luton? His backhanded antics kicked off the activities that have landed us with a 30pt deduction and 92nd out of 92 league teams. This man’s dishonesty is 100 times worse than any allegations against Redknapp. Kinnear is a crook and always has been.

  16. Soccergoalx

    February 8, 2009 at 9:35 am

    I will choose Newcastle if I really need to choose one of them. Tottenham have so many great players with a good manager. It would be a lost to premier league if the spurs is relegated.

  17. Chris Walker

    February 8, 2009 at 7:31 am

    Id rather see the lynch-mob at Newcastle get relegated over Spurs any day. I find it a bit harsh to group all the Yids fans together over an incident at one game. It’s not like they have a history of it. Not that im too worried either way. Neither side will go down. West Brom, Stoke then either Boro or sadly Pompey for are my tips for the drop.

    Oh and i don’t even support any of the clubs mention above.

  18. Anon

    February 8, 2009 at 7:14 am

    To the author:

    Please do not be hurt or unduly bothered by the comments. Your article would have come up on newsnow feeds for both Newcastle and Spurs, meaning their supporters are flocking here in great numbers- hence the abuse, because both these clubs have a big-club mentality and hate to be laughed at.

    For those criticising his journalism, stop whining. This is just a bit of a laugh- he’s not working for a newspaper or the BBC, this isn’t reportive, investigative journalism nor is it supposed to be impartial. As a neutral, I quite enjoyed the article, and though I agree it may be offensive and incorrect to, say, label all Spurs fans as racist/ homophobic, he has to find reasons to dislike one set more than the other by the very nature of his task. Slightly contrived, therefore, but so what? I enjoyed it.

  19. Spursman

    February 7, 2009 at 10:43 pm

    1. He didn't say he would go to the police and try to make it a criminal matter. He said the 'relevent authorities'. Were he to send an email to the sponsors of the site, that would constitute the 'relevent authorities'.

    2. Actually, there could be standing to sue, seeing as this is a published article accusing Spurs fans of being abusive racist, and homophbic. The law states that defamation can be targetted at an individual, business, product, group, government or nation. All Mr Montgomery would have to do would be to prove that he is a supporter of Spurs or is representing a group of Spurs supporters and he would have standing to sue.

    YOUR end of the lesson.

  20. Rivett

    February 7, 2009 at 8:28 pm

    Typical anti-spurs garbage. Get a life.

  21. Texasmag

    February 7, 2009 at 6:59 pm

    What a tosser writing such crap. He should be banned as a journalist!

    To The corner – Miss you fella! 🙂

  22. nick

    February 7, 2009 at 6:53 pm

    this guy must be the biggest cunt ever. but what he said about the spurs is pretty damn true

  23. Bobbert

    February 7, 2009 at 6:32 pm

    I'm a Newcastle fan and hate Spurs and love to see them kicked when they are down (hey, we're used to it), but this article is pathetic. There are plenty of reasons to criticise both our once great clubs, but this guy seems to have picked the reasons that someone who knows nothing about football would have picked.

  24. Newckie

    February 7, 2009 at 6:31 pm

    Wow, six yards of strangled compact duck shit from a singled cell organism.

    Ebs you can go down on next door neighbours mutt and divn't pass on your fleas man! 🙂

    Howay The Lads!!!

  25. Ebeneezer

    February 7, 2009 at 6:09 pm

    Newcastle would actually be MUCH more enjoyable to see going down.

  26. Drasl

    February 7, 2009 at 6:06 pm

    Haha, maybe as a Spurs fan I should write an article on which team would be more enjoyable to see in the Champion´s League. Aston Villa or Arsenal?

  27. Mark

    February 7, 2009 at 6:04 pm

    Poor sad Motherfucker, you have to be the bad boy bubby, wanker.

  28. thecorner

    February 7, 2009 at 4:59 pm

    piss poor points, he starts off liking mike ashley…i lost interest in it after that

  29. Fletch

    February 7, 2009 at 4:51 pm

    Don't bother – she's shit

  30. Fletch

    February 7, 2009 at 4:49 pm

    Probably one of the most biased things I have ever read. I though when I started reading this that it was to be a reasoned argument. Having read it, it's quite obviously written by someone with an axe to grind against Spurs and with the intelligence of a fart

    Complete idiot who shoule be barred from this kind of thing

  31. Bob

    February 7, 2009 at 4:40 pm

    Complaints can be made to

  32. Deeks

    February 7, 2009 at 4:34 pm

    those who find it amusing to agree with what this 'journalist' thinks on either club proves that your as clueless as the wanker who wrote brother is a professional journalist who would spit on you for branding us spurs fans as racist, claiming newcastle fans are unemployed and drunks and saying both managers are slimey….hmmm, have u realy thought this one out or are you making yourself a hate-list because believe me..its growing, you stereoptypical plastic wanker!

  33. Bob

    February 7, 2009 at 4:33 pm

    Actually, the best way to stop this kind of crap is to email the sponsors of the site. Just asking them to read the comments here should do it. What a tit

  34. Bob

    February 7, 2009 at 4:28 pm

    Good greif. Even for internet sh*te this is bad

  35. Raatzie

    February 7, 2009 at 4:23 pm

    1. Libel is a civil, not criminal, matter – on both sides of the Atlantic.

    2. Nobody would have standing to sue.

    Your end of the lesson.

  36. vitaminer

    February 7, 2009 at 4:18 pm

    Must say I agree whole heartedly with you conclusion..

  37. medspur

    February 7, 2009 at 4:12 pm

    wil be to no avail ! this pseudo author guy is such a sad loser there is no way he has a wife !!

  38. Alex

    February 7, 2009 at 4:05 pm

    Americans can understand football too, you prick!

    The writer is obviously an idiot as well, but I promise you, there are americans who understand and love the game.

    Just b/c the majority of our country doesn't care for the game, doesn't mean the fans are ignorant of the game.

  39. gimps

    February 7, 2009 at 3:55 pm

    excellent article, well written, constructive and informative………………..oh , by the way, can you walk and breathe at the same time?
    Thought not!!!!
    You give journo`s a bad name and I really hope Knob end finds you !!!

  40. a yid

    February 7, 2009 at 3:52 pm

    you are a knob jockey

  41. valle

    February 7, 2009 at 3:37 pm

    Great article, and very true… Lets hope for it.

  42. Maladoni

    February 7, 2009 at 3:37 pm

    I really genuinely laughed out loud.

    Do you need to do this to pass a GSCE in Fuckwittedness?

    Howay the lads.

  43. Knob end

    February 7, 2009 at 3:37 pm

    I'm going to find out where you live and fuck your wife

  44. LTY

    February 7, 2009 at 3:35 pm

    Your journalism its the pits, get a job you are actually good at…loser.

    You journalism blows so badly you couldn't even get a job working for the daily sport.

  45. Burt Reynolds

    February 7, 2009 at 3:28 pm

    Keep in mind he's an Arsenal supporter…

  46. me

    February 7, 2009 at 3:20 pm

    i'm a spurs fan and i'm not racist or homophobic, but i don't like you you prick.

  47. micky p

    February 7, 2009 at 3:19 pm

    the saddest thing about this article is that i wasted 2 mins of my life reading it…both sets of supporters love their clubs and some wanker who prabably changes club every few seasons depending on how well they play writes a load of shit…come on you spurs

  48. bizzle

    February 7, 2009 at 3:09 pm

    who ever did this is a complete twat why write this s*## when you could actually be doing something productive. dick head. I know! why dont you do another article – Which team would you most like to see f#####g your mum?

  49. Burt Reynolds

    February 7, 2009 at 3:06 pm

    Are you serious? I've seen some dumbass columns on this site, but this is probably the worst ever.

  50. EssexYid

    February 7, 2009 at 2:56 pm

    You are obviously just a sad thick ill informed West Ham or Arsenal fan, get a life and fuck off calling Tottenham fans racist, there was nothing racist in the Sol Campbell chanting so please explain how we are racist, you stupid little CUNT ???????

  51. SC

    February 7, 2009 at 2:54 pm


  52. Ed

    February 7, 2009 at 2:48 pm

    NEWCASTLE – would rather see a medium sized regional club with delusions of granduer go down that see a sleeping giant of world football with such a rich history drop into the championship

  53. Paul Montgomery

    February 7, 2009 at 2:48 pm

    Take this article down immediately or I will happily report it to the relevant authorities

    “Spurs fans are abusive, racist and homophobic, which is marginally worse than Newcastle’s Mido-directed malevolence.” – passages such as this are unfounded, utterly generalised and slanderous.

  54. Ry

    February 7, 2009 at 2:48 pm

    This guy is obviously just some sad American moron, who knows nothing about FOOTBALL. He's likely to have never attended a premier league game in his life and has no basis on which to claim all Newcastle fans are louts, lardos and drunkards or Spurs fans are abusive, racist and homophobic.

  55. Dan

    February 7, 2009 at 2:48 pm

    Wow, this really is plumbing new depths in so called “journalism”. Pathetic.

  56. Cunt

    February 7, 2009 at 2:47 pm


  57. Lightning Smith

    February 7, 2009 at 2:47 pm

    Probably the most disgusting blog I have read
    Obviously written by a coward who would not face up to either a Geordie or a Spurs fan.
    And as for calling Spurs fans racist something the papers and the courts dropped pretty quickly, over the Judas chants. Nothing could be further from the truth
    Get a life you sorry excuse for a human being

  58. Richard

    February 7, 2009 at 2:39 pm

    The internet is a big, bad place. At every turn there are depths plumbed that defy belief. But this article takes the biscuit. What a pitiful, woeful excuse for an article that was. Die.

  59. BB

    February 7, 2009 at 2:37 pm

    What a sad wanker.

  60. YidArmy

    February 7, 2009 at 2:36 pm

    You're going to tar all of Spurs fan with the same brush because of a media assault on a small section of our fans earlier in the season? What a poorly written article, you haven't got a clue.

  61. glen

    February 7, 2009 at 2:29 pm

    way too much time on your hands

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