Connect with us


Mike Ashley is a Moron

You’re an owner of a Premiership team, one that’s well-known all across Europe and is one of the best-supported in England. You’ve just gotten rid of your manager, one who you brought back just a few months ago to rescue the club from perennial mediocrity and is a hero to the fans. Those fans are threatening to boycott home games in response to the way you forced that manager out the door. Your team itself has little-to-no top young talent (the recent sale of James Milner to Aston Villa made sure of that) and has no real shot at a place in the top half of the table.

What do you do?

You go to New York City for Fashion Week and spend “$200,000 in (a) club and (order) well over 200 bottles of champagne including Cristal and Dom Perignon – buying a bottle for every patron in the club”, according to an insider for the New York Post. Those patrons weren’t even anyone of note; it was a bunch of D and F-list Hollywood-types, with the possible exception of Deion Sanders. This is just a week and a half or so after you were caught drinking a pint of beer in under 15 seconds in the stands by TV cameras, drawing “words of advice” from Scotland Yard.

Let me get this straight. Instead of caring more about your team and running it properly by actually bringing people who have knowledge about the game on board, Mike Ashley chooses to fly across the Atlantic and get drunk in a club with a group of nobodies. Instead of spending some money to bring some quality players to the team, Ashley sits on his reported $2.8 billion dollar fortune and do nothing with it. Why should he, really? He only spent $270 million to buy the club. No big deal or anything. I have that kind of money in my back pocket. Besides, Newcastle has scored 2 goals in 3 league games this season. They’re a juggernaut that can’t be stopped.

If I was a Newcastle fan, I’d simply refuse to attend another home game until this guy sold the club. A stand has to be made here to get this moron out of Newcastle. He is an absolute joke. He is incompetent and shouldn’t own a hardware store, much less a Premiership team. He clearly has no interest in turning Newcastle into a contender anytime soon, which was his stated goal.

What a fool.

200+ Channels With Sports & News
  • Starting price: $33/mo. for fubo Latino Package
  • Watch Premier League, World Cup, Euro 2024 & more
  • Includes NBC, USA, FOX, ESPN, CBSSN & more
Live & On Demand TV Streaming
  • Price: $69.99/mo. for Entertainment package
  • Watch World Cup, Euro 2024 & MLS
  • Includes ESPN, ESPN2, FS1 + local channels
Many Sports & ESPN Originals
  • Price: $6.99/mo. (or get ESPN+, Hulu & Disney+ for $13.99/mo.)
  • Features Bundesliga, LaLiga, Championship, & more
  • Also includes daily ESPN FC news & highlights show
2,000+ soccer games per year
  • Price: $4.99/mo
  • Features Champions League, Serie A, Europa League & NWSL
  • Includes CBS, Star Trek & CBS Sports HQ
175 Premier League Games & PL TV
  • Starting price: $4.99/mo. for Peacock Premium
  • Watch 175 exclusive EPL games per season
  • Includes Premier League TV channel plus movies, TV shows & more



  1. Ginny

    December 7, 2010 at 7:01 pm

    Obafemi Martins is 23? LNGKMD!!!

  2. PK

    September 30, 2008 at 9:30 am

    I think the man is FREE to do whatever he wants with his money and with HIS club!

  3. Michael

    September 12, 2008 at 3:43 pm

    First of all, they're not celebrities, but OK.

    Second, and more importantly, that's not his job. He could get away with doing that if he had anything whatsoever to celebrate and be happy about, but he doesn't. He hasn't improved Newcastle at all since he took over; in fact, he's made the club worse because now the fans are all against him and may not show up to home games.

  4. Hank

    September 12, 2008 at 8:44 am

    So, let me get this straight, you think Mike Ashley is a moron because he travels abroad, drinks beer, and likes to party with celebrities? You can call me a moron too because that sounds fantastic!

  5. Michael

    September 12, 2008 at 7:51 am

    David, let's be serious. Jose Enrique is mediocre at best. Andy Carroll is fine but he's not even being given a chance right now. Guthrie couldn't hack it at Liverpool, where Benitez has shown that he'll play young players if they're good enough. James Milner is the U-21 captain, not Taylor, though Taylor is your best young player (I don't count Martins in that vein). Kazenga Lua Lua is a name to watch in the future, you're right.

    Point is, there isn't much in the way of young talent, I'm sorry. It's a group filled with players that are getting older and aren't developing as much as they are regressing.

  6. David

    September 12, 2008 at 7:15 am

    But the majority of Newcastle fans have season tickets and, in some cases, three year season tickets after MA's pre-season offer. Not turning up to the matches will make no difference to Ashley as he already has fans' hard-earned money for the next three years. So it would be much better to turn up to matches, support the team, and boycott the food, drinks, Shearer's Bar and all other NUFC related products, including Ashley's chain of shops such as Lilywhites and Sports Direct.

    Just try and get a bit of an insight into background of the situation before labelling us betraying sheep…

  7. That is Baloney

    September 12, 2008 at 5:37 am

    I feel the argument of “player support” is a weak one. It betrays a lack of steel by Newcastle fans. They say they want him out, but when it comes down to it, they won't send the message. The players will survive two or three games in an empty stadium. Its the fans than can't survive. So they create this reality where they are doing it for the players, so as to not address the issue. The fans can only blame themselves as they are a flock of sheep, well-paying sheep.

  8. David

    September 12, 2008 at 2:44 am

    The trouble with boycotting home game, though, is that the players (who've done nothing wrong throughout this fiasco) will be affected by a lack of support. We do not want to drag the down the performance of the team with the current board.

    As for young talent, Mike, you'd be surprised at who we have in the ranks. Whilst not all English, in the first team we have Andy Carroll, Sebastien Bassong, Charles N'Zogbia, Danny Guthrie (watch this space!), Xisco, Steve Taylor (captain of U21s), Jose Enrique; and Oba Martins is only 23. Looking further down into the reserves and youth team we have recently acquired promising talents such as Fabio Zamblera, Wesley Ngo Baheng, Ole Soderberg, Tamas Kadar, Ben Tozer – all U21 internationals for their respective countries. More names I should mention are Tim Krul (tracked by Chelski and Feyenoord), Kazenga Lua Lua and Ryan Donaldson.

    But, in response to your article – yes, Ashley can feck off from whence he came.

  9. ObaMagik

    September 12, 2008 at 1:30 am

    A moron is a understatement….

  10. DoublePivot

    September 11, 2008 at 4:52 pm

    good article Mike.

    However, there was little need for content, as the title was all that was truly necessary 🙂

    Spurs chairman might be different, but at least he's not a twunt.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.

More in General

Translate »