Congratulations to Barcelona, Victors Against Chelsea Today

Congratulations to Barcelona for having won the second leg of the UEFA Champions League semi-final before it’s even started. Such is the confidence and expectancy among the Barcelona players and supporters. Almost everyone expects Barcelona to win today, so they can take their rightful place in the UEFA Champions League Final, right?

All around the world today, millions of soccer fans will gather around the television sets and computer monitors at the pubs, restaurants, offices and homes to watch the much anticipated match between Barcelona and Chelsea. On paper, Barcelona should cruise to victory at Camp Nou. They have the far better team. They have more creativity in midfield to create a hatful of chances. And they have the clinical finishers up front who are so precise. It’s a foregone conclusion that Barcelona will win today. After all, this is the best football team ever assembled.

No matter what happens today at Camp Nou, Chelsea’s footballers can walk away with their heads held high. This is a team that was so close to getting knocked out of the Champions League by Napoli. That was until Andre Villas-Boas got the sack, and in walked Roberto Di Matteo to boost this squad with common sense decisionmaking by the manager — putting the veterans back into the squad, solidifying the defense, returning the team to tactics and formations that they were better suited for and, most importantly of all, being a manager that the players could believe in and rally around.

Sure, Barcelona lost El Clasico. Sure, Barcelona is down 1-0 on aggregate to Chelsea. But there’s no reason, no matter how well Chelsea plays today, why Barcelona cannot win this match and win it convincingly at home in front of their supporters. Barcelona is preordained to be in final. They’re invincible. Indestructible.

In closing, here are some stirring words from Winston Churchill, with a little creative license used, that capture the mood before the match:

“We shall fight in Spain, we shall fight on the seas and the oceans, we shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air, we shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be. We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills; we shall never surrender.”

26 thoughts on “Congratulations to Barcelona, Victors Against Chelsea Today”

  1. Erm, what’s all this? If this isn’t tongue-in-cheek (and I hope it is), you realize Chelsea are actually in a position of power in this tie, right? Barcelona’s biggest threat is offensive; they’re not renowned for their defensive work (and given the possession they routinely garner, they don’t have to defend very much anyway). Should Chelsea get a goal, Barcelona is as good as eliminated (on the assumption that Chelsea’s defence and good luck hold). So, yeah, no need for pessimism. No need for optimism either. And Winston Churchill? Overkill, methinks.

      1. And you need to read clearer. “If this isn’t tongue-in-cheek”, I said on the very first line. It’s an if-then thing. If this is not tongue in cheek, then the rest of my comment stands. If it is, then my comment doesn’t. You understand logic too, I hope, seeing as you have a wonderful grip on sarcasm.

  2. you do realize that chelsea will get absolutely raped today, right? They honestly have no chance. They should have conceded against Barca at Stamford Bridge. The Camp Nou will prove to be a “Bridge” too far.

  3. very funny gaffer, love the deeply saturated notes of sarcasm that apparently is falling on deaf ears, and in america of all places, what a shock.

  4. This is obviously tongue-in-cheek, but still distasteful. Comes across as inferior and bias. But what should we expect from EPL talk, right?

    The truth is, Chelsea has the 1-0 lead, but Barcelona is favored. People who make a lot more money than we do to predict spreads and scorelines have Barcelona favored to advance. It by no means is a certainty, but if you had to bet your house, who would you honestly put it on?

    Gaffer, you have your moments where you’re fair, but sadly more and more, it’s become only when giving your analysis on a new Roku or Fox Soccer product. Your bias towards the game is clearly evident now and the site has suffered because of it.

    I will continue to read, as I always have, but over the last year or two I have for different reasons and that will continue.

    This is a poor article and I expected better from you.

    1. I have had my share of disagreements with gaffer on this site, and do agree with you on some observations of the nature of the site now. however, this is just an article to poke fun at people like me who have for a while been writing of chelsea’s chances.

      Did you not see the Barca article last week? LOL

      I dont see this as offensive, its just incredibly sarcastic, he’s just sick of the Barca is the best team in the world crap that has been shoved down everyones throats.

      I was just about to post a twist on the speech elizabeth gave before the armada incident, for comedy, and I think thats all he’s doing with this article. Roku’s and video game reviews aside, its just a bit of banter.

      I hope chelski loose, but everyone has their different reasons.

      1. Fair point, dust. I see the humor in it, I guess I’m just not amused.

        And I definitely agree on your last point. As bad as Barca players/fans can be, they are nowhere near as the level of Chelsea in my opinion. Managerial changes galore by a crazed owner, plowing teammates wives and racial allegations. No thanks.

  5. Di Mateo pre-game speech to the chelski nation. (I think he stole it from the speech Elizabeth gave before the Armada incident)

    “My loving chelski, we have been persuaded by some members of the media, that are careful of our safety, to take heed how we commit ourselves to armed multitudes, for fear of treachery; but I assure you, I do not desire to live to distrust my faithful and loving chelski.
    Let tyrants fear; I have always so behaved myself that, under Abromovich, Lampard, diving Drogba and the adulterer (and possibly soon to be convicted of racism) Terry, I have placed my chiefest strength and safeguard in the loyal hearts and money from the russian. And therefore I am come amongst you at this time, not as for my recreation or sport, but being resolved, in the midst and heat of the battle, to live or die amongst you all; to lay down, for my Abromovich, and for my Stanford bridge (even the obnoxious shed end), and for my people, my honor and my blood, even the dust.

    I know I have but the body of a weak and feeble italian, that was fired from wba due to poor performances and lack of management ability, i may have fallen in @#$% with this opportunity and come up smelling of roses; but I have the heart of a king, and of a king of England (the one that was beheaded for being a dick), too; and think foul scorn that Barcelona or Spain, or any prince of Europe, should dare to invade the borders of my realms: to which, rather than any dishonor should grow by me, I myself will drink expensive mineral water while my players run about on the pitch; I myself will be your general, judge, and rewarder of every one of your virtues on the pitch. I know already, by your songs that sound like howling cats and that lack originality, that you have deserved relegation but instead will aim for something higher like rewards and crowns; and I do assure you, on the word of bonny prince charlie (another italian mistaken for a britain, they shall be duly paid you. In the mean my lieutenant general shall be in my stead, than whom never prince commanded a more noble and worthy subject; not doubting by your obedience to my general, by your concord in the Nou Camp, and by your diving and suspect challenges on the pitch, we shall shortly have a famous victory over the enemies of my Ambrmovich, of my chelski, and of my rowdy headhunter, bandwagon fanbase.”

  6. This is turning into quite the obsession, Gaffer. I think we get it by now. You don’t like Barca, Messi is overrated, and the club and fans are arrogant. If only they could be like the lovable, plucky, overachievers at Chelsea, right?

  7. Correct Barca are favorites to win, nobody has seen them lose 3 games at a stretch. Again! Chelsea can still advance losing 2-1, with an away goal. It ain’t over for the Blues.

      1. According to his IP, he lives in Rhode Island. He’s going to be one sorry person when he tunes in tomorrow to see the match that happened today :)

        The Gaffer

    1. I don’t know if that was a sorry attempt at trolling to see how many replies you could get (VERY SAD) however I will feed into it and say you’re an imbecile.

  8. hahahahhahaha loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooosers! death at camp nou! barcelona-chelsea 2-2! RIP barca… :'((((( come next year! 😉 REAL FOR LIFE!

  9. OKAY, CHURCHILL SOUNDS GOOD BUT HERE’S SOMETHING FOR CHELSEA FROM TEDDY ROOSEVELT. It’s not the critic who counts, not the one who points out how the strong man stumbled or how the doer of deeds could have done better. It is the man who is actually in the arena; whose face is marred with sweat and blood, who no matter how many times he fails, will strive on valiantly to reach his final goal….It is that man who in the end will know great achievement….or at the very least….will know his final resting spot will not be with those cold and timid souls who know neither victory or defeat. THE CHELSEA TEN

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