Illustration by giveawayboy

Is anyone else starting to get a little bored of the supposed Carlos Tevez transfer saga? He’s staying, he’s leaving, he’s unhappy, he’s committed – barely a month goes by without an update from the Carlos Camp. And now Roberto Mancini admits uncertainty over Carlos Tevez’s future at Manchester City.

As ever, at the centre of this brouhaha is the infamous Kia Joorabchian. I don’t know what it is about him, maybe it’s the look of the man or maybe it’s the fact that spelling his name is such a pain in the arse, but I can’t fail to dislike him. The yarn that he’s spinning this week is that some time in the near future Tevez will return to former club Corinthians.

At this point it is worth noting that Joorabchian is not Tevez’s agent. Since the Premier League made all third-party ownership illegal, Joorabchian now classes himself as Tevez’s ‘advisor’ – he is not licensed to be an agent. So whenever the diminutive South American is reported as being unhappy it is normally Joorabchian who lets us know.

Ever since Tevez’s controversial arrival on English shores with West Ham he has been continually touted with moves away from his current club. While with the Hammers a switch to Manchester United was continually mooted, then while at Old Trafford Joorabchian did all he could to let the world know that his client wasn’t happy. Now while at Manchester City there have been rumours aplenty and even a transfer request.

The most unsettling thing about Tevez’s transfer request around Christmas was the actual reasoning behind it. From some quarters we were hearing that he was homesick and missed his family in South America. Some were saying that his relationship with the board at City was beyond repair and some were saying that he had become disillusioned with the nature of the modern game. Which was true? Perhaps it would have helped if Tevez himself had spoken publicly to add some clarity to the confusing affair – if out of respect for the fans if nothing else.

The ‘homesick’ excuse is the one which will draw the least amount of animosity from fans, but is also the one which appears to be the least accurate. Mr Joorabchian (yes, him again) has said that Tevez will stay in “Europe for the next three years, minimum” – hardly the actions of a man with a melancholic longing to return to South America. It is also strange to hear the career of a professional footballer mapped out in such a precise way.

So now we can take homesickness out of the equation, why on earth can’t Tevez ignore Kia Joorabchian’s advice and realise that he on to a good thing at City and stop trying to jump ship? The fans still love him despite the transfer request, he scores a hat-full of goals and rumours suggest that he earns £286,000 a-week after tax. What more could a footballer want?! If it’s success he’s after then surely Manchester City are heading pretty quickly in the direction of silverware – they are third in the league and looking strong in both the Europa Cup and the FA Cup.

It would be great if Carlos Tevez’s future could be decided either way, but it seems like that is never going to happen. So get ready for the Carlos Tevez rumour mill to start speeding up again in the summer. Mr Joorabchian will be pleased.