Open Letter to Jose Mourinho

FC Barcelona vs Inter Milan

Dear Special One,

Or, is it Mr. Special?

Excuse my error in salutation, if in fact I committed one. I wish to take a fleeting moment to put pen to paper and congratulate you on your recent 0-1 loss to current world “dominators” Barcelona FC. I’ve in fact never seen such an emphatic “jump for joy” the likes I witnessed Wednesday eve when the final whistle blew at Camp Nou. But Yes!, you’ve done it. Your ubiquitous presence has in fact paid off. Forget the negativity of the losing scoreline and focus only upon your victorious aggregate triumph. Hark, the world over now admires or abhors you that much more, for this, I remain astonished! 

You’ve accomplished the not-so-impossible feat of slowing young Lionel over the course of two legs in the world’s most prestigious cup competition. For that, I salute you. Consider young (Lion)el tamed.

With an unabashed, handsome swagger, you strode onto the strip of green earth with a passion and gusto so furious that even your Carolina two step with Victor Valdes couldn’t keep you away from celebrating with your batty away support. For a second, it quite scared me, but a moment later, (before they turned the sprinklers on) I realized here stood a man who’s accomplished what no other man has done in 38 years. Of course, the feat, massive in stature and pure in nature, was taking Internazionale Milano to none other than the coveted Champions League Final.

Big Cup, Big Ears, Money Cup, TV Cup,…you get the situation.

Which brings me to the concept of this dispatch. Now on the agape lips of every English journo residing in Old Blighty, and once sung so intimately and true by the America Alt-Country artist Ryan Adams, “When, when will you come back home? (on second review, Adams also spoke, “I’ve got a halloweenhead – head full of tricks and treats“, so take his words for what you will). My thesis: If you tame Munich’s lions on 22 May, could a homecoming be imminent?

Tell me Jose, is it United’s history you seek? Or City’s riches you desire? Could the tradition of Liverpool’s Reds beckon? Can England’s Premier League ever trump the recently decreed “greatest moment of your career”? Your time in the vastly diverse, top-flight Premier League was fruitful at the best of times and abbreviated at the worst. Their media obsess over your charm and woo. I entreat you, come back and fulfill their richest desires. Save them from the likes of Allardyce, Pulis, McCarthy, and McLeish.

Your marriage to the media, supporters and lonely housewives of the United Kingdom may still yet be salvaged. A complete paring.  No longer a Sid & Nancy, no more a Romeo & Juliet with depressed conclusions. The end this time won’t come prematurely, your place is here. I cajole you again Special One, come back to England and usurp your throne.

Until an offer is extended and accepted, until a decision is reached, and until a coveted Premier League spot opens, we view your progress Mr. Mourinho with a keen and animate eye. We salivate over the potential, we hallucinate the future and we devise the conclusion.

May we meet again soon on the brave fields of England.

9 thoughts on “Open Letter to Jose Mourinho”

  1. Nice affectation, English lady-in-waiting. Kind of overboard, but I get your point. I’ve been cheering on Inter since they stymied Chelsea; more so Mourinho than the team (I can’t stand Serie A). The outcome last night was predictable, the first leg was a thriller. Mourinho’s candid dislike for Serie A is hilarious and it will see him moving on, I hope w/ another Champions League trophy under his belt. This will be the most competitive final possible and I hope he takes it to the Germans. I assure you it will be the last time I cheer on an Italian club in any competition.
    Mourinho might be on to Spain, will you still be fawning then?
    Wherever he goes I’m sure we’ll hear/see all about it so I could do w/out him in the Premiership and shudder to think of him loosening the purse strings at Man City and putting those boys to hard work. Then again, he could have the coffers at Madrid and manage a club with infinitely more prestige. He’ll get the highest wages from any of these suitors, so it’ll be down to what he sees as the greatest challenge, the next chapter in the narrative that he has been penning across the face of European football in these last years.

  2. Two Ryan Adams quotes? Haha. I’m just pulling your leg, but this writing style is really not cool. Avoid open love letters in the future!

  3. It looks like he will be going, which is a shame because you could tell last night he has a bit of a soft spot for Inter Milan now and all the players adore him, but he doesn’t like how the media in Italy don’t suck up to him like the English one does and theres been a lot of bad decisions against his team this year.

    It’s good to see these two teams in the final though and it’s good for German and Italian football, whats even more interesting is that this game will pretty much decide who gets the fourth champions league spot in the co-efficients.

  4. I don’t want Mourinho back in the EPL unless he is on Chelsea’s sideline but with what Ancelotti is doing at the Bridge now I don’t see him going any time soon, so I would like to see him go coach my La Liga team Sevilla and stick it to Madrid and Barca.

  5. Would love to see him back! He’s a character! He may lean towards boring football at times, but boy, does he get results!!!

  6. Dear Mourinho,

    I have been ardent follower of yours, so here are some of my recommendations / tips/ advice; if you have time to go in for :

    1) You are on buying spree, for Real Madrid- my favorite club. Pl do not buy awardees of the World Cup, unless there is commercial reason. Buy young upcoming players.
    2) So called celebrities of the football have failed in the just finished World Cup. Buy / transfer only upcoming players, having the required talent. They may develop in 2 or 3 years . See how Rolando has been developed by Manchester United. You have the latent to judge the upcoming players. See how India won the first T-20 World Cup – by selecting young / upcoming players. Celebrities of any game have ego – which can not be satisfied by any means ; money / motivation./ Ads / XXX.
    3) Defense of Real Madrid is weak. You know better how to handle it.
    4) Dot not dazzle but deliver – should be the motto to the players. Dazzling is commercial aspect – must also be there. How you blunted dazzling of Barcelona in the last Semifinal – was a treat to watch.
    5) Now on technical matter – I can not dare to say any thing, but feel like to say. When a penalty kick is made, keep a player at the far end- so that if all miss, there is some one to take a kick / action.

    These are my opinions , as novice of football but lover of the game.

    V K Shridhar

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