Portsmouth Football Club Now For Sale On eBay


Times are bad at Portsmouth Football Club, but when the club is put up for sale on eBay, you know things can only get worse.

To be clear, the actual listing is a prank. But there’s already been 80 bids and the highest bid is now at £999,999.00

The auction is listed as “Portsmouth City Football Club Ltd.” on the British eBay site. The description says, “New owner desperately wanted for financially-stricken south-coast football club. Previous and current owner(s) have run this fantastic club into the ground and it is facing an uncertain future. Liars, crooks, asset-strippers and tax cheats are obviously NOT welcome. All bids considered but please get a move on as the electricity is about to be cut off moosh.”

Thanks to reader Charles Hurley for the news tip.

18 thoughts on “Portsmouth Football Club Now For Sale On eBay”

    1. The reason he hasn’t responded to this point is that he is out running around Atlanta trying to sell shares. I can her him now, “No, honest, this is a great opportunity!” :-)

    1. I think that’s their officially registered name but no one calls it that except people who are buying the club who have never been outside London and get cornered by Sky’s cameras.

  1. What makes you think I wasn’t the one who posted this?

    I’ve also got a bridge in Brooklyn for sale, beach front property in Arizona, and, if you act quickly, I’ll throw in a crater of your choice on the Moon.

  2. Oh, and if the club ceases to exist after next Wednesday, then I’m going to put allegiance up on eBay to the highest bidder.

    1. I’d pay good money to get rid of John PortsmouthFootballClub Westwood. That drunken lout is so embarassing, his drummer buddy ruins any song not started by them, and the trumpet player behind them would sit last chair trumpet in my sixth grade band. (My trumpet students are always good.)

  3. Yes, Chanirai now ‘controls’ the football club, whatever that means.

    Yes, it was Avram Grant who visited the brothel, which is less than a mile from the training ground. So when they sing that we couldn’t score in a brothel, they would be wrong.

    Not sure how this affects the court hearing next Wednesday about the Winding Up Order. They will probably negotiate a deal to delay it saying they need time to sort everything out. Delaying the inevitable if you ask me. We’re going into Admin, it’s just a question of when. I’ll take admin over the other possibility: ceasing to exist.

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