Least Valuable Premier League XI


This is not the worst team in the Premier League.  It is the least valuable.  This team would incite the masses with talent, with name recognition and with expense.  They would then fail pathetically.  This team could be composed entirely of Newcastle players, but we thought we’d include a few others to keep things interesting.

Emmanuel Adebayor (Arsenal): Doubled his salary this season.  Halved his work rate and effectiveness.

Michael Owen (Newcastle): No longer an elite player, no leadership value, paid like someone with both.

Damien Duff (Newcastle): Expensive, complacent and ineffectual, Duff is a perfect emblem for Newcastle’s season.

Joey Barton (Newcastle): He makes £60,000 per week.  No description needed.

Deco (Chelsea): Barcelona – better when he left.  Chelsea – better when he stopped playing.

David Bentley (Tottenham): Once tipped to start for England, can’t even start for Tottenham.  Spurs won eight out of eleven league games he did not play.

Gareth Bale (Tottenham): Spurs still have not won a Premier League match he has appeared in.

Micah Richards (Manchester City): Has regressed rather than progressed, a testament to Capello’s insight.

Gary Neville (Manchester United): Waste of a squad position.

Andrea Dossena (Liverpool): One reason Rafa Benitez should have to work for his transfer funds.

Craig Gordon (Sunderland): Sunderland allowed 113 goals the past two seasons.  Not all Gordon’s fault, but you would expect more impact, given his transfer fee.

12 thoughts on “Least Valuable Premier League XI”

  1. OK, so maybe you don’t want to list the entire Newcastle squad here, but you must acknowledge Fabricio Coloccini. He cost Newcastle 9.1 million pounds, and it’s extremely likely that he’ll be shipped off this Summer for significantly less. And good riddance, too…

  2. While the rest of the list is excellent, I cannot ever agree with putting Michael Owen on this list.

    Owen was the last English player who could truly have been considered the world’s best and his contributions to the game in England, the national team and the growth of the Premier League from second tier European league to one of the top few leagues in the world should permanently exempt him from this kind of list.

    Replace Owen with Alfonso Alves and you have an outstanding list.

  3. I think it’s a fair list BUT Robbie Keane should be on the list.
    For 20million quid and 7 goals for Liverpool, that’s 2.8m per goal. Not exactly great return on investmen is it?
    Anyway, I will remember this season due to ten major events that took place. Can’t wait for 2009/10 season to start.

  4. adebayor was red hot last season, many ppl, including myself and maybe tyduffy was expecting more from him this season, which the work rate and effectiveness are halved.

    as much as a fan of owen myself, i have to agree putting him on the list, mainly due to his wages.

    robbie keane might be up there if he hasn’t gone back to tottenham

    interesting list

  5. Bentley’s main contribution to Spurs’ season was lighting a fire under Aaron Lennon’s butt. With no challengers for his starting place, Lennon became lazy and complacent. Once Bentley showed up, the Lennon who made the 2006 World Cup team suddenly re-appeared.

  6. Damien Duff?? The lad’s been played out of position all season.
    As for Neville, that’ll be the most capped fullback in English history then?? At 34, most players would have retired but he’s forced himself back into the United squad. The MOST underated English player of the last 20 years.

  7. Most of the list I would have to agree with. Alves should definitely be in there, for either Adebayor or Owen.

    I can’t understand the inclusion of Neville, however. The criteria for players was a team that “would incite the masses with talent, with name recognition and with expense. They would then fail pathetically.” Neville has played little, but has nevertheless contributed towards a title-winning season. A more apt right-back would perhaps be Philippe Degen who, although signed on a free transfer, was believed to have had a £1m signing on fee and up to £40k a week. He has hardly played and has become injured on three occasions. A massive fail in my opinion…

  8. sorry.. gary neville? sure he lacks fitness and has struggled to not only stay healthy enough to play, let alone walk into a lineup with a teenager and john o’pie. but he is the captain of united. while giggsy is the leader on the pitch, neville is buzzing in everyones ear off of it. he is on of the strongest connections to the heart of the club. a true supporter of the reds who reminds the boys what it means to pull on that red shirt. ill be the first to admit his injuries make him an easy target, but he has rarely preformed badly when on the pitch, and all things considers, he does more for his club than someone like anelka if you ask me. would you have said tom brady was a waste of a squad number for the patriots last year (trying for a cultural example away from football).

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