Aston Villa’s Premier League Success Makes No Sense Whatsoever


 I have no idea how this keeps happening!

Now, before you start calling me Charlie and suggest I place various things in my nether regions, I should begin by mentioning I am in fact an Aston Villa supporter, so much so that each Christmas I go through the official Aston Villa merch catalogue to order a new AVFC tie. But I’m also a rational observer, and that’s why I can say with some certainty that Aston Villa’s Premier League success just doesn’t seem grounded in reality.

Not that Villa aren’t a sturdy club at the moment. Martin O’Neill is an adept manager and Randy Lerner is a wise chairman. The club has taken a page from the David Moyes/Everton playbook by managing to hold firm in the top six using only a ratchet, a bit of pipe cleaner, and a big man up front. But a quick rundown of the past few Villa league matches will illustrate what I’m talking about.

Portsmouth 0 Aston Villa 1: Heskey scores on his debut! Then Villa scrambles to contain Portsmouth for the next seventy minutes, conceding about a quarter of a million corners and letting Utaka do whatever he wanted in the final fifteen minutes, which amounted to squaring up and missing.

Sunderland 1 Aston Villa 2: Sunderland owns Villa for forty-five horrible minutes. “Champions League, You’re Having a Laugh” sings the Stadium of Light. Forty-five minutes later, Milner discovers his inner-Maradona after he may or may not have handled the ball into the net, Ashley Young gets sent off, Gabby goes down outside the box but it’s a penalty for some (glorious) reason, three points. *Cough*

Aston Villa 2 West Brom 1: Villa play well for most of this, but Carson is awful, own-goaling the winner. Villa looks to muck everything up at the end, trying their best to award WBA a penalty in the final stages, but Steve Bennett says no.

Hull 0 Aston Villa 1: Grinding deadlock, Villa look a bit all over the shop, Hull plays valiantly until Zayate’s o.g. in the 88th minute.

Aston Villa 2 Arsenal 2: Villa play brilliantly, the best they have all season. Concede two goals. Score two goals, Zat Knight getting the equalizer in extra time. Luck be a lady.

West Ham 0 Aston Villa 1:  Lucas Neill own goal in the 78th minute. Ta da!

So if you’ve been keeping score, three of Villa’s past six games have been won on own-goals. I mean, I know the old cliche about champions winning ugly, but every single game?  If you’re a Villa fan, you have to believe this is one huge hump we’ve gotten over, and the free-wheeling, quick-passing, hit-them-with-speed attacking football is just around the corner. Either that or avoid any and all sidewalk cracks, wear the same smelly Villa shirt everyday and keep praying the rosary on Saturdays. It’s worked so far…

25 thoughts on “Aston Villa’s Premier League Success Makes No Sense Whatsoever”

  1. Much as it pains me to say it…I think you have a point. But you miss out one vital ingedient > SPIRIT! I haven't seen a Villa side fight so long and hard for each other and the team in many a long season. That is a key factor in these “lucky” wins, that we never give up and batter teams into submission with our constant effort.

  2. some villa fan, agbonlahor got fowled against sunderland not barry, milner was fowled anyway so if it wasn't a goal it was a penalty and a sending off for chimbonda

  3. All of which is to say, Rome wasn't built in a day. Anyone who thinks this year's edition of Aston Villa is really equivalent to ManU and Chelski needs to buy this bridge I've got out back (and I, too, say this as a Villa supporter). Aston Villa have a brutal schedule upcoming through early April, and the team will not maintain this points pace.


    It's not all smoke and mirrors, either. I think you badly underestimate the talent that is already on hand. This isn't a team that is a new starting XI away from dominating most EPL opponents, it's a team that is a few key additions/improvements away. Which is as close as any non-big-4 team has been in several years (perhaps since Leeds were challenging).

  4. Makes no sense? Who are you to comment. Throw your tie away, bet you've hardly seen any of the games – some skant highlights on match of the day don't show how we keep going at teams non-stop, wearing them down. Those own goals were a result of the constant pressure we put teams under and consider the fact that teams set themselves up trying to block our famous and deadly counter attack. They make one mistake and we punish them, it's not luck it's class and passion.

  5. Its difficult to take the article seriously when you speak about chris moyes related to everton? David Moyes maybe?

    Barry didnt win the penalty at stadium of light, gabby did. Last night at Fratton Park you are right in saying pompy had much pressure….but gabby missed a very simple clean through, milner had an open goal, and heskey was stopped clean through only by david james. Luck against Arsenal? Dont think so! Woodwork struck 3 times in 45 minutes by Villa…. Really a football fan or just like villa ties?

    Granted villa have taken some points where they were not due, however look at the biggest sides such as liverpool and chelsea scraping 1-0 wins, particularly liverpool in the early stages of the season. This clinical striking threat will allow villa to maintain there current form as there will always be the ability to create goals from very little.

  6. What a load of Rubbish. Your definitely wearing Blue and white shades as your reporting seems completely biased.
    Lets break it down,

    Portsmouth could not break our two center backs after more than 17 corners and having huge tall players (Crouch, Cambell, Kanu, Heridason, Utaka). They had the majority of the play but our defensive did a great job. Poor play, poor passing from Villa, but it was an AWAY win.

    AWAY win, Sunderland are a decent side we play good football. Milner was fouled and would have had a penalty and a sending off for Sunderland, they were lucky the ball went in the net. Second goal, great strength from Gabby contact started outside, but was well inside when he fell. Some refs give them some dont. Great AWAY win.

    West Brom came in hard and this is what we expected from a Darby, nice run from Gabby. To blame Carson who pulled off a great save is just pathetic. Give Gabby some credit for his run and the overall performance of Villa.

    Agreed with the Hull Game, AWAY win. Neither Hull or Sunderland are easy teams to play against.

    Arsenal. Luck be the lady?? You gotta to be *&(@ kidding me. We were all over them completely hitting the bar free times and have an amazing clearance off the line by their right back. You seem to have a selective memory and leave out all of what we did before they scored their two goals.
    Once we got a goal back, its was all Villa and we got the minimum we deserved.

    As for West Ham, i went to that match. We should have rapped it up in the first 45 minutes with Sidwell and our boys missing about 4 chances. West ham came back strong and played very good, but our defense just held out for another AWAY win.

    6 Away wins on the trot, Own goals have come due to Villa pressure. Pathetic witherings of a Birmingham or Arsenal fan.
    When were in the Champions league, then you talk. As a matter of fact, when you have the Champions league star on your Shirt then talk. Blue/red nosed twat.

  7. Poor article and even worse than your a villa fan… (well you claim to be one, you got so many things wrong there like barry going down for the penalty, it was in fact agbonlahor.. would of thought a villa fan would know that)..
    the table doesn't lie and yes we may have ridden our luck a bit but I would say your a bit of a pessimist… or indeed some armchair supporter who doesn't have a clue..
    disappointed and embarrassed to be associated with a villa 'fan' like yourself..

  8. Good eye on the Chris/David shenanigans. Wishful thinking on my part? It's been fixed along with the Gabby/Barry mix-up (pen, penalty-taker? It's all the same right?). As for the rest of you, come on! Let's enjoy it! We're in third, let's laugh a little…

  9. If you check your own analysis you will see we have only conceeded 5 goals in 6 games – a great keeper, solid centre backs (with strength in depth), a solid and talented midfield with a high work rate, the best winger in the Uk, the quickest striker, and now Heskey. Add to this a great manager and thats why Aston Villa are challenging – they are one of the toughest teams to play aginst in the Premier League – That Charlie dosn't know what he is talking about!

  10. Okay critics! This was a tongue-in-cheek piece written to make light of our tremendous luck over the past few matches! I was wrong not to swear total and unwavering fealty to my football club! I am in the midst of a re-education session never to make light of anyone's football team ever again, because football is a tremendously serious business!

  11. Although we have had some luck lately, much of it has come about because of the massive pressure we have put on our opponents. You don't concede own-goals unless under pressure. I would also say that although on the balance of play there have been a match or two that perhaps a draw would have been a fairer result than a win if I am to be totally honest, I don't think we have ever deserved to lose any of those matches. Our goalkeeper is as good as any in the league and better than the vast majority, our defence is strong and our counter-attack lethal. And then there are the matches we 'deserved' to win that ended in draws or losses. It is said that you make your luck, and I think we have made ours this season – we're just not used to it because usually it's someone else in the position that we're presently in.

  12. Can I add against West Ham as well as missing 4 or 5 clear chances in the 1st half we were also denied 2 blatant penalties, one of which was a sending off offence etc..

    Also how about Vidic pulling down Gaby when clean through for the Man U game – again a sending off and/or a goal we never got.

    So that's 3 lots of 'bad luck'

    Oh also Pompy should have had that player sent off – straight red- on 40mins last night too.

    Since when was defending well and getting deflections from shots or penalties from been brought down “good luck”!?

  13. We have had the rub of the green at times but that is football, i am sure Everton, Man U Chelsea and Arse, would take it every time so stop sounding like Whinging Wenger and get behind the team..

  14. We've played 33 games since June, start of the league season we were on fire, last 6 games dipped a bit in flair, but we are still grinding out results, and away from home. Our flair and goal scoring will come good soon again and finish strong. This is definately how champions do it you clown. Man Utd, Milan, Juve, Madrid all do the same, season after season, its called a winning mentality !

  15. Who cares? The amount of mediocre crap and bad luck we've had to endure over the years had become countless. It's about bloody time now that we become the jammy bastards.

  16. You make your own luck.

    Villa has blistering pace. They press hard all day.

    And as someone already pointed out, what about the defensive efforts of this team. Friedel has been great this season.

    The signing of Heskey was really good. When Carew gets back O'Neill will have even more options up top.

    I honestly hope that Villa can break the monotony of the Premier League's top 4. I think that they can do it. Sure they have a tough schedule, but I think they can do it.

    And as someone else said, they are a few more players away from really cementing their place as a consistant top 4 side.

  17. Winning matches in the 90th minute, that´s what top teams do. If your article was about Man Utd, it would have said that winning by one goal is quality and injury time winners are what seperates top teams from midfield ones. It´s not about luck, it´s about mentality and belief up to the last minute.
    Villa have a solid defense (which will be more stable when Laursen comes back from injury) and are a threat going up front (Route-1-football, as some paper said).
    I think they´re going top 4 this season.

  18. If you're a Villa fan, I was born on Mars.

    And you appear to know about as much about football as I do about nuclear physics (which is nil, before you ask…)

  19. please send me 3 likely draw teams in this week 3. I mean this weekend march

    that man u and chelsea is no 1 in the fixture.

    please help me i am football fan . can i trust you. please send me the three likely draw teams .

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